As I Get Older

One of my friends turned thirty yesterday. When asked if she felt wiser, she said, “Oh yes. I feel much wiser. Very learned. Ready to lead the world to victory.” Then she laughed because she rarely uses battle terms and wasn’t sure why she’d chosen one in that moment. I guess she felt empowered by thirty.

On most mornings, when I first wake up, I look at the time and the date and then I say, “Happy Birthday whoever has a birthday today.” Then I roll back over and fall back asleep. Most of the time, I don’t know exactly whose birthday it is. Many times, Facebook will tell me. Sometimes I happen to just know—a family member, a childhood friend, a specific date etched in my memory. But yesterday, I simply offered a general birthday wish to the world…and then arrived at work to find out that I actually did know someone celebrating her birthday that day.

Every once in awhile, I go on a writing streak. During those streaks, I can birth poems like I have an endless supply inside my being. Have a stomach ache? I’ll write you a poem. Have a run in with a bug? I’ll write you a poem. Need encouragement? I’ll write you a poem. Have a birthday? I’ll write you a poem.

I’m not on a writing streak.
I had no Hallmark cards to save me yesterday.
So I deferred back to a previous writing streak for birthday inspiration.

I found the following poem. And I said this to my friend:

I wrote this when I was 30.
Once again, Happy Birthday, my beautiful friend.
My guess is that you don't like to make a big deal about the day.
But for this one day. Let us celebrate YOU.
May you smile as you grow younger and may you dance to your heart's desire.

I hope the same for you, friends. And I wonder: What are you learning as you get older?

As I get older…

…Popularity doesn't matter so much anymore,
the fear of rejection isn't as pressing on my heart,
I realize that most people aren't as gossip lustful as I thought,
I understand that there are many people who are forgiving, and
the routine passing of days makes the urgency of going somewhere
a little less urgent.

…Pessimism turns into a mild form of healthy complacency,
I slowly begin to accept that I cannot conquer or change the world,
I quietly plant simple truth into my life:
do the best with what I have, where I am, as who I am...and let that be enough,
and I begin to try, settling into the knowledge that there will always be information
that I do not know and situations that I do not understand.

…Peace comes in the form of rocking chairs on porches,
serenity transcends the thrill of roller coasters traveling on trombone slides,
the aches and pains of organs and bones gently nudge me
to honor the temple that I've been given, and
the world settles into brilliant color that spans the spectrum from red to violet,
passionate to sensible, chaotic to calm, hard to soft, black to white.

…Pulling grey hair only leads to baldness so each grey hair becomes
a signal of one step toward the wiser,
each wrinkle adds another story to life’s book,
each change is greeted with subconscious understanding that time lets go, and
I smile as I grow younger, and
let my hair down as I learn how to dance.