Officially

If you are an introvert who does not like physical touch, then I don’t suggest a big ordination service. If, however, you are an extravert who craves physical touch, then go for it…because the touches you receive and the words that you hear will propel you through the exhaustion that ensues after months of waiting.

I’ve had a lot of people call me Rev. this week. I’ve smiled.
I’ve had a lot of people ask me if I’m still floating from Sunday night. I am.
I’ve had people tell me that I was glowing at Sunday night’s service. I was.
I’ve had people joke that I suddenly have healing powers. I don’t. Yet parts of me have been healed…or least taken steps closer to redemption.

It’s hard to describe. These thoughts and feelings that I have.
Nothing extrinsic has changed.
I’ve still gone to work at school each day this week and done my best to be patient and loving with my coworkers and students. I’ve succeeded. I’ve failed. I’ve landed in between.
I’ve still gone to church a couple of times this week and done my best to be encouraging and spirit-led with my coworkers, choir, and congregation. I’ve succeeded. I’ve failed. I’ve landed in between.
I did those things last week, too.
Yet I feel different this week.
I think it’s partly because my love tank is full to overflowing.
But it’s more than that. It’s just hard to explain...

I don’t know how long the line was for people to pray for me. And I don’t know how many people the line held. But I know that I saw a lot of faces and felt a lot of hands and I know that I heard a lot of words that came from people’s hearts.

One sentence really sticks out to me, though, and it’s from one of my dearest friends from high school. “This is what you’ve been doing all along,” she said. “Now it’s just official.”

I guess maybe that’s it.
It’s official.
Called out and affirmed by hundreds of people.
Publically declared that my greatest desire in life is to love and show God’s grace to the world around me—
Wholeheartedly, in great and small tasks, through music and words, by simply showing up…

People have shown up for me. They showed up Sunday night.
And those who couldn’t show up Sunday night were still there with me.
My dad’s parents were with me in the necklace that I wore around my neck.
My mom’s parents were with me in the ring that I wore on my finger.
Kay was with me in the angel plaque that lay on the altar in the sanctuary.

People have shown up for me.
So I want to show up for people.
Officially.
Wholeheartedly.
With everything that I am.
Extraverted, craving of words of affirmation, needing hugs and all.