Regardless

Toward the beginning of the year, my dad read to me a statement that made a profound impact on my life: “I love you regardless of how well you’re performing.” That one statement worked its way into my consciousness as a statement from God to me, from me to God, from me to myself, from me to those I love, and from me to those I struggle even to like. It became a prayer that I prayed over the people in my life—a mantra that I repeated until negative thoughts began to turn positive—until I was remembered that we’re all human and walking this journey together.

In May, after preaching a sermon based on the statement, I accidentally allowed it to slip to the back of my mind…Until last week when I was telling a coworker a story and suddenly, “I love you regardless of how you’re performing,” popped right back to the forefront of my thinking.

For the past couple of weeks, I’ve been praying that God would allow me to see people for who they really are instead of who I want or think them to be. Sometimes I want people to be more vulnerable than they are. Sometimes I think them to be more outgoing or friendly than they are. Sometimes I want people to be more capable than they are. Sometimes I think them to be less capable than they are. I don’t mean to do it. But sometimes I want people to be who they are not. Which is not fair to either me or them.

“I love you, (peoples), regardless of how well you’re performing, (I perceive you to be performing, or I want you to perform.)”…

On Wednesday night, I went to preschool choir rehearsal to practice the narration part that I’d been assigned. It was a bit chaotic. I left the rehearsal feeling a bit overwhelmed, wondering how Sunday’s worship service was going to flow with the preschoolers playing a huge role in worship leadership.

Interjection: I have no idea how people successfully work with more than one or two preschool children at a time! I admire preschool workers and know that I could not be an effective preschool leader for more than a few minutes. Preschoolers scare me!

Because I was feeling a bit overwhelmed, I couldn’t muster the words to tell the children’s minister, Rebecca, that everything was going to be okay. I honestly didn’t know if everything was going to be okay, and I didn’t want to lie—although part of me knew that the look of exhaustion and concern on her face might be reason enough to lie—so I said nothing.

Fast forward to yesterday morning. As Rebecca was doing her final preparations for yesterday’s children-led worship service, she looked at me and said, “I told my mom the other night that I didn’t even get an ‘I believe in you’ from you on Wednesday night. And I really could have used that I believe in you.”

My response was, “Wait a minute. I didn’t say I didn’t believe in you. I always believe in you. I just wasn’t sure that I could believe in the preschooler’s program.”

“I love you, (friend), regardless of how well you (or your preschoolers) are performing.”
[Which, by the way, they performed—or worshipped—very well. It’s amazing what morning-time, a large congregation, a lot of prayer, age-appropriate content, and duct-taped picture place-cards will do for the kiddos.]…

God,
help me to see people for who they really are
instead of who I want them to be.
And help me daily to
remember, say, and believe,
in all its many forms,
I love you
Regardless of how well you’re performing,
until I truly believe it and live it
in all that I say and do.
Amen.