Self-Discovery Progress Report

Progress reports went home today. Here is my progress in the subject of self-discovery. All three discoveries were made this week.

1) I am not a good music student. Last night at choir practice (I’m a seasonal Christmas Cantata Choir Member—sounds official, huh?) I found myself wanting to talk to and make jokes with my neighbors. I also caught myself singing quite a few times after the conductor signaled for us to stop. I wasn’t trying to be annoying. Melodies, word patterns, and neat motifs just kept getting stuck in my head and I accidentally, mindlessly, kept singing/humming them. At one point I realized, “This is what my students do,” and then I made an intentional effort to be a good student. I must admit, though, sitting quietly while not singing was much more difficult than talking, joking, or humming.

2) I am not good at standing still. After asking my 1st grade students to stand in place and practice singing their program music, I noticed myself absent-mindedly wandering to the middle of the room. I suddenly realized, “This is happens to these kids, too. They’re singing. Getting lost in the music. And suddenly their way far away from their seats. Ugh.”

3) I’m not above (figuratively) throwing a 3rd grader under the bus. Yesterday, while waiting for car duty to begin, I noticed a Highlights Hidden Picture puzzle on one of the computers in the library; a 3rd grade student hadn’t closed the window after printing out the picture. Naturally, I decided to find some hidden pictures as the car-riders filed in for dismissal. As I searched, a 2nd grade student, M, sat beside me to help. [She is the same student who “helped” me type morning announcements on Monday and typed "bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb6666666666666666". I surely did read it.]

About ten minutes later, I found myself standing beside Cone 3 in the car-rider line being scolded by a 2nd grader, complete with grim face, finger pointing, and all.

“You left on your computer, Ms. Deaton. You didn’t log out when you finished. You are wasting electricity. You are wasting power. You are keeping someone from using the computer. You have been bad. Very bad.”

In the middle of my scolding, I found myself defending my actions. “But, M,” I said.

“No. I don’t want to hear it,” she said, turning her head away from me. “You left on your computer. You have been bad. That’s it.”

“But, M,” I continued. “Do you know, H? He’s a 3rd grade student who is very loving and kind like you (because he is). He’s the one who left on the computer. I just used it afterwards. And it’ll cut itself off. Don’t worry.”

M was walking to her car by the time I finished my defense. And then I thought, “Oh good Lord. I just defended myself to a 2nd grader by throwing a 3rd grader (figuratively) under the bus.”

So there you have it, folks. I, Deanna Deaton, K-5 music teacher for nine years, am a non-standing-still, talkative, silly, humming, bad music student who doesn’t like to be in trouble and will therefore defend herself to a 2nd grader by blaming her computer log-out ignorance on a 3rd grader.

Pretty awesome, huh? :-)