Betrayal

Relationships are hard. Family, friend, and work relationships. Romantic and platonic relationships. In-person and long-distance relationships. Relationships are just plain hard…especially when they are met with a betrayal.

I’ve been thinking a lot about betrayal today because today is an event anniversary for me. Today marks a time in my life when I was deeply betrayed and life began to drastically change course.

As I’ve reflected upon this betrayal today and remembered the reversal of, “If you’ve needed a friend to trust, then you’ve chosen the right one,” I’ve noticed my mind wandering to Judas and Jesus.

I’ve considered the story of Jesus’ final meal with his friends and how Judas kissed Jesus before Judas completed his betrayal. Judas handed over Jesus to his enemies with the hope that Jesus would assert his authority on earth. I don’t know that Judas was necessarily trying to hurt Jesus, rather, he was trying, in his own way, to hasten Jesus’ Kingdom. Judas’ plan backfired and led to Jesus’ death, which was horrible. Yet Jesus’ death made way for hope, forgiveness, resurrection, and redemption…and I believe that if Judas had not killed himself before Jesus arose then Jesus would have embraced him with open arms.

I get this.

I wonder if Judas ever told Jesus that if he needed someone to trust then he could trust Judas. Jesus must have seen something in Judas. Jesus must have enjoyed Judas’ presence and believed in his ability to manage money. Jesus must have cared for and loved Judas because that’s what Jesus did with everyone, not to mention those he chose to keep by his side.

I suppose we never enter a relationship predicting betrayal…or if we do, then I think we hold to a deep-seated hope that our fear is wrong. Yet with every relationship we enter,we run the risk of being betrayed…or of being the betrayer.

[I’d be remiss if I didn’t confess that I, too, have been the one to betray or to push persons away from very unhealthy behavior. And for those times in my life and to the persons I have hurt, I am deeply sorry.]

And yet, we keep forming relationships. And we keep opening ourselves to love and living our lives alongside those for whom we care and feeling kisses of both passion and betrayal and finding ourselves faced with the options of hope, forgiveness, resurrection, and redemption.

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**“You Came Into My Life” is a song that popped into my head as I drove home today. I wrote it many years ago, but I think it fits this post well. The recording isn’t wonderful, but I posted the lyrics.
http://www.reverbnation.com/deannadeaton/songs**