A Sad Maundy Thursday

I had a hard time deciding on my Facebook status question this morning. It’s Maundy Thursday. I didn’t think that a fun, random question was appropriate. And then I started weeping. It’s Maundy Thursday.

Even in Baptist tradition, we’re aware of the events of Good Friday. We know of the trials and the beatings and the brutal crucifixion of Jesus. We know that Good Friday was a very bad day—a very dark day in history—a very sad time for Jesus and his disciples. Jesus was condemned to a criminal’s death. The disciples didn’t understand. They wept. They were scared. The sadness and fear were palpable…

But what about Maundy Thursday? What about what Jesus must have been feeling then?

On Tuesday, I asked everyone about their favorite story of Jesus. My best friend’s mom wrote: Garden of Gethsemane, asking God to take the cup from me. It's comforting to know that even Jesus asked to be spared from the evils of life.

That’s one of my favorite stories, too. Yet it’s so extremely painful to read. To know that Jesus was in anguish. To know that he earnestly prayed, “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me…”. To know that he was scared. To know that he struggled with leaving behind the people that he loved—that he prayed for God to take care of them and to protect them from evil because he couldn’t do it anymore. To know that he had been betrayed by one of his disciples—by one of his friends in whom he had placed his trust. To know that he had cared enough to wash feet and that he had served his last meal for the last time and that he had sung a song with his disciples and that the life that he had enjoyed on earth was soon coming to an end…

I don’t know about you, but I am filled with sadness for Jesus. I am filled with sadness and grief and heartache and hurt for this man who loved unconditionally and sought to draw all persons in to the love of God. I am filled with sadness and grief and heartache and hurt for this man who felt sadness and grief and heartache and hurt just like me. Betrayal is not fun. Endings are not fun. Facing uncertainty and pain are not fun. Leaving behind loved ones is not fun. I know. I have experienced all of those things. And so did Jesus. On this day…this Maundy Thursday.

It’s appropriate, I think, that it’s a cloudy and overcast day. This is a sad day. Tomorrow is a sad day. I feel so sad for Jesus. I wish that I could give him a hug. I wish that I could remind him that everything is going to be okay. Because right now it doesn’t feel that way. Right now, on this Maundy Thursday, everything is just so sad. And right now, I feel more connected to Jesus’s humanity than ever before…