So It Seems That We All Just Want To Be Loved

To those who commented--
I don't know who you are, but you have a safe place with me.
And as strange as it might seem to read this:
I love you...though you may struggle to understand it.
Thanks for opening up and sharing.
Below are the responses--meshed together as one.

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So It Seems That We All Just Want To Be Loved
2/10/11

I often wonder how God can love me:
A struggling parent, unhappy partner, divorcee, ugly teenager, homosexual, absent friend, grandmother, daughter, fumbling Christ-seeker, experienced teacher, college student, rape victim, wandering heart, dreamer, newly-wed, abused soul, minister
Who walks around muttering curse words all day,
cannot seem to get life straight, and
simply goes through the motions to fool every one
when deep down I am miserable every minute of the day.

Sometimes I wonder if I will ever find love—
If anyone will ever love me for me or
If I will spend the rest of my life alone.

Because I cannot wrap my mind around the idea of love,
especially unconditional love—the idea that
someone or something out there could love me despite all my
insecurities, down falls, over exaggerations, failures, mistakes, quarks, rash judgments, desires, fantasies, unrealistic dreams, hiccups, questions, and sins.

I read things in the bible that confuse me—
that tell me I am bad and wrong
versus created and called good;
that show a God of extreme jealousy, vengeance, and rage,
versus a God of utter humility, forgiveness, and love.

Sometimes I wonder if God even exists—
If this faith that I’ve built my life upon is even real.

And yet I keep believing.
And I keep hoping in the love which I cannot fathom,
nor attempt to understand.