Annie The Surprise

 

I was telling Annie her baby story on Christmas day when she reached up and whopped me in the head. I guess she didn’t want to hear it. But maybe you do.

 

On the night of Wednesday, August 25, 2021, while four tiny, stray kittens gobbled up the cat food that I had gotten from a friend’s house on the way home from choir practice, I looked out the dining room window and saw the Mama Cat sitting under the rocking chair.

 

We made eye contact. She either meowed or hissed a me. I’m not sure which. I spoke to her through the window, told her that everything would be okay, and two nights later, after I had returned home from Final Friday at ARTWorks Vass, I picked up Mama Cat for the first time, spontaneously naming her Queen Antoinette, or Annie for short.

 

Annie was a teenage mom. When I look at her now, still not even a year old, still growing bigger each day, I cannot believe that she raised four kittens. She’s as happy as she can be as the fourth member of the Deaton Household, zooming through the house playing with bottle caps and strings, helping my dad with his calling posts each day, begging for endless supplies of food, curling up on various beds and sofas when she finally decides to sleep—which isn’t often according to most cat activity.

 

Looking back on that night when I first saw my pretty girl, I think she was meowing rather than hissing. When she meows, she does it with her whole body. She lifts her head, opens her mouth, and speaks. I think she was speaking to me when she saw me. And I think I spoke back what she needed to hear.

 

Annie Deaton was one of the biggest surprises of 2021.

 

Blackout poetry and water colors were the same.

 

What about you? What surprised you in 2021? What changed your life?

 

Oh God: 2021 was a tough year for so many. So much stress. So much sickness. So much death. So much heartache. In the midst of it all, You were there. In cats’ meows. In dogs’ barks. In art. In music. In coffee. In hugs. As we hold the weight of it all, help us to balance the load with light, and laughter, and love. Go with us as we enter a new year. And help us to be met with good surprises that change our lives in positive ways. You are the biggest surprise we could ever hope for. Thank you. Amen.

Making Room

 

My sister’s family came to spend the night last Thursday night. Until 2am Thursday morning, however, there wasn’t room for them to stay.

 

One of the guest rooms is my office. It’s where I do my work and file my papers. It’s also the room leading to the attic and therefore becomes the catch-all of the upstairs.

 

Even though I had sorted papers many times this year, I hadn’t actually filed anything in a very long time. Instead, I had bags of papers that needed tending and various seasonal decorations that needed to be put into the attic.

 

And so I set out to work early last week. In between visiting with friends and family, running errands, wrapping gifts, and doing black-out poetry, I cleaned.

 

I cleaned the office. I cleaned the bathroom. I cleaned the guest room. I cleaned my room.

I gave the upstairs a much-needed make-over, and when I finished, the house was finally ready for guests.

 

As I think about the Christmas story, I think about the phrase, “because there was no place for them in the inn.”

 

I’ve always imagined that the inn was FULL—that ALL the inns were full. I’ve even imagined the inns as houses that people opened to guests.

 

But as I prepared for my family to come this Christmas, I began to wonder if maybe there WAS room for Mary and Joseph in the inn…except that the people didn’t want them.

 

Maybe their house wasn’t ready.

Maybe things were too dirty.

Better yet, maybe they didn’t want a pregnant woman giving birth in their home.

Or maybe they saw Mary and Joseph and passed judgment on an older man with a younger woman.

Or maybe they somehow knew Mary and Joseph weren’t yet married and didn’t want to condone their seemingly sinful behavior.

Or maybe Mary and Joseph were too ragged to meet inn-society standards.

 

We don’t know.

 

All we know is that Jesus was laid in a dirty, filthy manger because there was no place for his family in the inn.

 

Oh God. Help us to drop the excuses and judgments and to make room for you in our inn. Help us to keep our houses clean so that when you visit, we are ready. Help us to not let you pass by. Amen.

Caroling

 

On Monday afternoon, I joined a small choir of people who had arrived at the church to bring tidings of comfort and joy to various households in Sanford.

 

Led by our choir director, we traveled in a small caravan from place to place, sometimes standing in yards to sing, sometimes going into homes.

 

We sang spiritual songs. We sang secular songs. We sang favorite songs. We sang songs by request.

 

Sometimes the people we visited sang along. Sometimes they didn’t. But everywhere we went, they greeted us with smiles and thankfulness for our presence…and for the music.

 

Music is so very powerful.

 

One of the men we visited has dementia. He doesn’t remember much about his life, but he remembered the music.

 

Verse by verse, he sang carol after carol.

 

Just before singing “Silent Night,” he carefully made his way across the kitchen so that he could stand beside his wife and hold her hand.

 

Side by side, they joined us in singing.

 

His beautiful tenor voice blended with his wife’s alto voice and together they sang along with a strength and confidence that otherwise he has lost.

 

Harmony filled the room with a sweet richness that the house hadn’t heard in a long time.

 

It was such a tender and sacred moment.

 

Friends: We hold the sacred in our voices when we sing.

 

We hold light and love and joy in the lyrics that plant themselves so deeply in our souls that they cannot be forgotten.

 

We hold power in our melodies.

 

We hold grace in our songs of old…and new.

 

Oh God: You have given us the gift of music to connect with others in a way that nothing else can. This Christmas, accept our songs as sacrifices of praise. Help us to sing as we’ve never sung before…knowing that our songs connect us to one another and to something deeper and more powerful than we will ever know. Amen. And Amen.

Forgiveness

 

Shame:

“A painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the

Consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior.”

Unfortunately, religion has a way of instilling shame in its followers,

Even though the truth is supposed to set one free.

 

For years, I have struggled to overcome deeply-rooted shame.

I have always been very conscious of my wrong or foolish behaviors

And, therefore, have internalized them,

Along with the thoughts that

“I was born into sin” and

“I am just a sinner saved by grace.”

 

For most of my life,

I have genuinely, truly believed that I am bad

And unworthy of God’s love,

“But for the grace of God through Jesus Christ.”

 

I’m not trying to start a theological argument here.

I know that we could argue about the goodness vs. depravity of humanity for days.

I’m simply trying to say that,

For me,

The beliefs that humanity is utterly deplorable were so damning that they paralyzed me.

And being paralyzed emotionally, spiritually, and mentally is not a good place to be.

 

Over the years, as I both expanded my view of religion and spirituality and went to therapy,

I started to figuratively walk again.

Somewhere in the process,

I realized that I had steered away from the word “sin” all together.

It wasn’t that I thought myself perfect or un-needing of forgiveness,

Rather, my focusing on my shortcomings was not helpful or healthy at all.

And so…I subconsciously abandoned the ship that I had been riding my whole life and

Treaded water with the help of a Life-Preserver until I found a new ship.

 

And my new ship has a confession and forgiveness of sin every Sunday morning.

Every Sunday morning, as a collective whole,

We ask forgiveness for the ways we’ve fallen short—

From personal affronts to global neglect,

We pray for grace to cover the things we’ve done and left undone,

And then we are reminded that, through the grace of Jesus Christ,

We are forgiven.

We. All of us. Have missed the mark. And yet.

We. All of us. Are forgiven.

And we can let go of the guilt, heartache, and shame that too often we carry,

Bit by bit, piece by piece,

Sunday after Sunday,

Time and time again,

Until it’s gone.  

We. All of us. Each one of God’s beloved children. Including me.

Don’t have to internalize our wrong or foolish behavior to the point of

Shame.

Because.

We. Are. Forgiven. And.

We. Are. Loved.

Forever. And ever. And ever.

Amen.

Healthy Resolve

I am a feeler.

I care about people deeply.

I want peace and harmony in life and relationships

And I will work tirelessly to achieve this goal.

(Although, often, it makes me very tired.)

 

I am also built to appreciate words of affirmation.

I long for positive words—

To give and receive them—

And I thrive when encouraging words flow freely.

 

For people like me,

Being cut off in relationship with no explanation,

Or worse, by way of negative words,

Is one of the worst things than can happen.

I’d like to say that I don’t know this from experience.

But I do.

Just like some of you.

And we’ve been left to carry the sadness and helplessness that follows.

 

I know that different people have different ways of dealing with life.

I know that not everyone holds to words and people like I do.

I know that some people and relationships are toxic.

I know that sometimes relationships need to end.

I know that sometimes boundaries must be established and that strong words must be used.

 

But friends: Can we agree, for the most part,

To work toward healthy resolve with the people in our lives—

Even when it’s hard?

Can we agree, for the most part,

Not to cut people off without first trying to say goodbye?

Can we agree, for always,

Not to make threats or try to hold power over others through fear and manipulation?

Can we agree, for always,

To love God, first, and to love our neighbor as ourselves, second?

 

Love is hard.

At different times, it is different things.

It is holding on and letting go.

It is drawing close and pulling away.

 

Oh God…help us truly to love…even when it’s hard. Help us to live in healthy relationship with one another, and when it’s time for relationship to end, help us to find peaceful resolve or to let it naturally fade away. Help us, God, to hold to all that is good, noble, and true. And God? When we fail love, please forgive us. Always. Amen.    

Squirrel

Most notes are meant to be inspirational.

This one is not.

This one is sheerly practical—

A suggestion, per say, that might come in handy one day

When you least expect it.

 

If you don’t have one,

Then you need a squirrel.

“A squirrel?” you say!

Yes. A squirrel:

A hidden $100 bill in your wallet (or purse)

To be used only in case of emergency.

 

Case in point.

 

I went to a Brooke Simpson Concert on Saturday night.

While the concert itself was great,

The communication surrounding the concert was not.

For instance, we didn’t know that we needed to pay $5 to park—

And that they only took cash!

 

Neither of us being cash carriers,

And me driving my dad’s car

(Because he has blindside warning lights and those are fantastic on the Interstate)

Instead of my car

Where I keep a few dollars of emergency money,

We didn’t have $5 between us…

 

Until…

 

I remembered…

 

My squirrel!!!!!

 

My mom and dad gave me a squirrel a long time ago.

I’d dutifully kept in my wallet as they told me.

 

And so…

$95-in-change later,

We made it to the Brooke Simpson concert in time for the meet and greet

And didn’t have to wander around town to find an ATM!

 

And there you have it, friends:

Always carry a squirrel,

For you never know when you might need it.

 

The end 😊.

 

MBTI and Gift Giving

I had the opportunity to lead a debriefing of the Myers-Briggs Type Inventory (MBTI) on Monday afternoon. As such, the MBTI has been on my mind pretty much non-stop for the past few weeks.

 

For most people, if they’ve ever even taken the MBTI, the MBTI is just a set of four letters that don’t mean much. Most people quickly forget their letters and move on. For me, though, the MBTI took root when I discovered that it could be used to foster spiritual growth. From that point forward, the MBTI has been central to my understanding of myself and those around me.

 

So just what is the MBTI? It’s a type inventory that helps explain four aspects of personality:

 

1)     Your personal energy source. Do you gain energy from the outside world of people (EXTRAVERSION), or do you gain energy from the inside world of thoughts and ideas (INTROVERSION)?

2)     How you subconsciously perceive information. Do you take in information primarily using your five senses, thus focusing on right now (SENSING), or do you take in information with insight and imagination, thus connecting past, present, and future (INTUITION)?

3)     How you consciously make decisions. Do you make decisions based on impartial facts and raw data (THINKING), or do you make decisions based on how they will affect people and relationships (FEELING)?

4)     How the world sees you. Does the world see you perceiving information (PERCEIVING), or does the world see you making decisions about that information (JUDGING)?

MBTI theory says that each of us has a preference for one of the two ways that each aspect is expressed. Put together, these preferences create 16 personality types that each have unique characteristics, strengths, and weaknesses.

 

That being said, one of the things that I found while doing research for Monday’s presentation was an MBTI guide to gift giving. Since Christmas is fast around the corner and not everyone has done his/her shopping, I thought I’d share a summary of that gift giving guide in case it helps you 😊.

 

ST types: These MBTI types tend to be practical and logical. When you're buying for any of these types, look for gifts that they'd find practical and useful. Often these types like gadgets - but useful ones. 

 

SF types: These MBTI types tend to be practical and sympathetic. They're people-focused people but with a focus on immediate, tangible help for others. When you're buying gifts for SFs, look for gifts that combine the practical and the personal. Often these types appreciate knowing that you remembered a special interest of theirs. For SFs, it really is the thought that counts!

 

NF types: When buying gifts for one of these MBTI types, look for gifts that are unique and personal. NFs often appreciate gifts that reflect who they are and what they value. For NFs, it definitely doesn't have to be practical to be valued!

 

NT types: When buying for NT personality types, look for gifts that are unique and thought-provoking. They'll often appreciate gifts that are innovative in design or creation. Whatever the gift, it should stimulate their intellect!

 

Is this a fail-proof guide to gift-giving? No. But is it good to consider? Yes. Because each of us is different. And it’s always good to remember that…even if we don’t know someone’s MBTI type.

 

God: Thank you for making us different. And thank you for giving us tools like the MBTI to help us understand ourselves better. Give us the wisdom to know who we are and help us to honor the differences in our lives. Amen.

 

By the way, if you’d like to discuss your type and understand yourself a little better, just let me know. I’m happy to explore this further with you.

Annie Live!

Amelia the Niece spent the weekend to help us decorate for Christmas.

We had a lovely weekend.

On Friday night, as part of our two-day festivities, we watched “Annie Live!”

We all thought that it was pretty good—

Even my dad!

 

One of the things that struck me about this version of Annie

Was how emotional the actor was who played Annie.

I’ve seen Annie a gazillion times.

I’ve seen the movies and I’ve seen the stage show in both professional and amateur theatre.

But I have never seen an Annie with the emotional depth that I saw on Friday night.

 

Annie has pretty thick skin.

Living in an orphanage all of your life,

With an abusive, alcoholic, albeit-portrayed-comedically, house mom

And a group of other orphans who depend on you to be their leader

Will do that to a person.

 

So when Annie is taken out of the orphanage and actually loved,

Her life drastically changes.

In every other production I’ve seen, Annie just rolls with it.

She’s happy-go-lucky and emotionally steady.

For instance, when Daddy Warbucks presents Annie with a new locket,

She is grateful for the gesture but confesses that, more than anything,

She’d like to find her real parents who hold the other half of the locket.

Just like that.

Matter of fact.

As if what has happened to her in two weeks hasn’t turned her world upside down.

 

On Friday night, though, when Daddy Warbucks presented Annie with a new locket,

She reacted so very strongly—

With a trauma response of someone whose only connection with her parents was being taken away.

She then proceeded to have a full emotional break-down while telling Daddy Warbucks that she wanted to find her real parents.

The break-down was very dramatic.

It was as if years and years of tears and hopes and longing were finally being released…

Because they were…

Because she finally felt loved…

And safe.

 

Friends: Many of us have developed thick skin.

We have built up walls of armor because we need protection from a cruel, difficult world.

Most of us will not have the drastic life change that Annie had,

But all of us, in time, can begin to tear down our walls,

Allow our hearts to soften,

And let in the people who love us and

Will stick with us through the changes.

 

May we be a people rich in the Love that changes everything,

And may we be a safe place when those we love completely fall apart.

 

Amen.

Two Songs of Love

 

The chorus of two songs are on my mind this morning.

One is by my beloved Sara Groves,

The other is by me.

Both have to do with love.

 

In her song, “I Feel The Love Between Us,”

Sara writes:

 

“Love is a diamond hidden in mountains
Covered in danger and dirt
I'm on the outside digging and digging
I've seen and I know what it's worth”

 

In my song, “You Came Into My Life,”

I write:

 

“So you can hate me and curse my name

Run away in anger, write words to shame me

I understand, I understand

I still love you and bless your name

Give Christ the anger, the hurt, the pain

And trust His hand, to take your hand

Because I can’t”

 

Love is messy.

Sometimes love comes easily;

Sometimes we must work at love.

Sometimes love means drawing close;

Sometimes love means letting go.

Sara writes about love being something that is carefully uncovered;

I write about love being something that is painfully released.

Sara wrote her song after many years of marriage to her husband Troy;

I wrote my song after a few months of friendship.

Love is old.

Love is young.

Love is intimate.

Love is brotherly and sisterly.

Love is joy.

Love is pain.

Love is…

 

What is love to you?