You Look So Happy

“You look so happy.”

That’s what my sister said to me after she snapped a picture of me standing beside Cascade Falls just off the Blue Ridge Parkway.

“I am happy,” I said.

And it was true. In that moment, standing beside a waterfall, listening to currents rage, feeling mist on my face from water crashing on rocks, I was happy.

And I was happy the day before as well. My niece and I went creek hiking, carefully maneuvering over slippery river rock, trying not to fall in, feeling water drift swiftly over our legs, until my foot got caught under a rock and I did fall in, fully dressed, emerging safely with a huge grin on my face.

“Nothing makes me much happier than being in a mountain stream,” I confessed. And nothing does. Except maybe being in a mountain stream with my niece.

In a time when the world feels out of sorts—when a pandemic has stopped everyone in their tracks;

In a time when the world feels out of control—when rules, customs, and history are rapidly changing and there is so much unease;

In a time when the world feels full of suffering—when fear and sickness are accompanied by isolation and death;

I must confess that I struggle to be happy…not because there aren’t things to be happy about…but because I feel like I shouldn’t be happy when so many others are not.

I know that life isn’t about being happy. To make happiness our ultimate goal is futile. But I believe that life IS about being present. And being present means being fully available to all times, circumstances, and situations…

Friends: Even in the midst of a world gone awry, it’s okay to find moments of happiness and joy.

And so I ask you today: When is the last moment you were happy? Please share. I’d love to hear

God Is Love

On Monday, my mom and I recorded a song that she once sang with her daddy.

I’ve had the tune of song in my head all week, but all I can remember of the lyrics is the first line:

God is love.

And so…all week…I’ve been singing…God is love, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh. And so forth.

In a society where actions and opinions are so polarized, love seems beyond wearing a mask for the good for humankind, and bats have returned to the attic after a few weeks’ vacation, I am thankful for the musical reminder that when everything else goes awry, God is love…and, in the end, love really is more powerful than hate.

You're Growing

Mom and I just finished cleaning out the freezer and the pantry. It seems just like yesterday we were doing the same things, and yet…three bags of trash later, I realize just how long it’s really been.

I thought to myself, “Time moves so quickly. The days just keep turning to months and the months keep turning to years before we even know it.”

And then I thought of a song that I wrote many years ago.

For anyone who knows anyone who is growing in any way (which is really all of us)—especially for those of you with graduates this year…this song is for you.

May it express your feelings toward your loved ones…and may we be life’s biggest cheerleaders for those we love most.

You’re growing up fast
Time’s slipping away
I can’t do a thing to make you stay
With me
You’re growing

Days turn to months
And months turn to years
And years turn to memories that I have to hold dear
To my heart
You’re growing

I’ve known that in this life God would bring me to a place
Where I’d have to lag behind and let you run your own race
But now the time is here and it’s harder than it seemed
Letting go’s not easy though I have to set you free
‘Cause you’re growing

I look at you now
And I have to smile
Knowing where you’ve been and where you are
Right now
Growing

We’ve weathered some storms
As we’ve chased our dreams
We’ve laughed and we’ve cried and we’ve learned how
To love
Growing

(repeat chorus)

I’ll think of you every day
And when I do
I’ll fall on my knees
And pray
As you’re growing

I can’t carry your cross
But I know one who can
God’s standing beside you and reaching out
God’s hand
As you’re growing

I’ve known that in this life God would bring me to a place
Where I’d have to set you free and let you run your own race
But now the time is here and it’s harder than it seemed
Letting go’s not easy though I have to set you free
‘Cause you’re growing

A Simple Prayer

Lord, I pray for everyone
Whose hearts are broken today
Lord, I pray for everyone
Whose bodies are wasting away

There is so much hurt
And so much pain
There is so much grief
And so much anger
There are so many fears
And so many doubts

Lord we need you
We need you
Right now

Jack Abram

Today, my oldest nephew graduated from high school in a quiet family ceremony at his school. I had the privilege of seeing him in his graduation regalia before the ceremony, and I couldn’t have been much prouder.

Jack graduating in a tough time. He’s moving into a tumultuous world. But I believe in his faith and in his ability to make a positive difference in this world. So I thought I’d write him a poem that combines advice, hopes, dreams, and reality.

This is my poem for Jack…but may it be a poem that speaks to you as well.

Just ask when you need help
And don’t forget to
Call when there is something you need to
Know you are loved
Always
Be willing to fight for justice
Right the wrongs of polarized society
And respect the diversity around You
Make a unifying
Difference In this world
Each person has a voice
And your voice matters
To me You are the bright hope
Of Tomorrow
Never forget to live in faith for today

Grocery Store Stickers

I received a surprise piece of mail yesterday.

A couple of weeks ago, I was the caller for my school’s virtual Battle of the Books. The local newspaper wrote an article about the event, so I was in the newspaper.

I hadn’t seen the article. In fact, I’d forgotten that it existed.

Then mail arrived in my mail box.

It was a very nice handwritten note, along with the article from the paper…sealed with stickers from the grocery store! 😊

The whole thing made me smile…

And it made me wonder: When is the last time I went out of my way to send someone, literally or figuratively, a smile?

As I looked at the letter, I could imagine my friend ever so carefully removing her produce stickers so that they could be used on my letter. The intention of her action made me feel cared for and also gave homage to my friend’s sense of humor…

May we be a people who do not waste produce stickers—who reuse them in ways that make people smile.

May we send cards, write letters, compose positive comments, make phone calls, wear fun masks, offer eye smiles under our masks, visit when it’s safe, and act upon our positive thoughts of others in any other ways we can think.

May we be a people of love, especially in these days when love, respect, and belonging are so needed and overdue.

May love be our light and our guide. Always. Amen.

Bat Attack

Last Friday, I heard a sound that I dread: bats. Sure enough, as I crept into the attic, smelling a smell that I have come to know as bat, cautiously surveying my surroundings, I found a group of bats roosted behind the screen in the gable. I yelled and ran out of the attic.

Back up a few years…

One morning, I happily but sleepily went downstairs to say good morning to my mom. My dad wasn’t home. As I got to the bottom of the stairs, something came flying at my head. I screamed, startled mom, and ran out the door, leaving my mom all alone with what I knew to be either a bird or bat. It scared me so badly that I couldn’t do anything but stand on the porch and hold the door open—and shake and sob. I refused to go back into the house for at least thirty minutes, and even then, I was scared.

Long story short, the BAT, after flying at my head, had hidden itself downstairs for a few hours and then appeared to my mom and dad who got rid of it. I was asleep upstairs. I was so traumatized that I had had to put myself back to bed…but not without hesitation of coming upstairs and having something fly at my head. That hesitation lasted for months.

Around that same time, I heard some squeaks from the attic and heard something hitting the door ever so often. I told my dad of the noises, and his solution was to head into the attic with no protection to see what was in there. You know what it was: a bat. He figured that if the bat could get in to the attic, then the bat could get out…but it didn’t. It and its family perished in the attic that summer. I found their dead little bat carcasses sometime later…

This was a few years ago. We forgot to get someone to come to the house to seal any cracks that would let bats in. No one but me really even thought about it until last week. And then…

All of the trauma of a few summers ago returned. I have dreamed about bats three times in less than a week. They have attacked my head and grown to the size of monkeys. I have been hesitant to go downstairs, come upstairs, or round any corners in the house. My conversations have centered around bats and my friends have felt so badly for me that one sent bat repellent and two more came to the house to see what they could do. I’ve even contacted a bat removal company, but they can’t do anything until August because bats are a protected species.

I know that bats are good to have around. I know that they are basically harmless and that they eat lots of bugs and mosquitoes. I know that they don’t intentionally attack humans. I know that they are even sort of cute.

But, folks: The part of my brain that knows all of those things has been disconnected from the part of my brain that says that I either need to “fight, flight, or freeze.” That’s what happens when trauma is triggered: We fight; we run (flight); or we freeze.

Friends: If I have completely shut down and witnessed the activation of the trauma brain over my minute experiences with bats, can you imagine how much more so the trauma of systematic racism has influenced people’s lives? Can you imagine how living every day feeling judged has affected people’s dreams? Can you imagine living every day—not just bat season—looking over your shoulder, wondering if someone or something is going to attack?...

Thankfully, the bats in my attic have moved on for now. Maybe they sensed they weren’t welcome? Hopefully, my traumatized brain will return to its fully integrated self soon and I can stop living in fear.

Oh! that it were that simple for my friends of color. Oh! that years of oppression could just fly away.

Friends: We have work to do.

God. Help us. Amen.