Slow Us Down

God has slowed us down. The question now becomes: What are we already doing and what will continue or begin to do with the time?

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Tomorrow is today in the crazy world I live
Yesterday rings on right now
One eye focused on the future
One eye focused on the past
I’m blinded to this present life I live

Lord slow me down
And help me see clearly
What I need to see the morning I wake up
Lord slow me down
And help me hear the rain fall
Instead of looking for the sun to come up
Lord slow me down

I do not understand what I do in this life, Lord
What I want to do, I don’t do, but what I hate I do
It is no longer you who has control of me
It’s my humanness, it’s Satan’s evil scheme

Oh Lord, I’m running to you
With open arms and a searching soul
Oh Lord, I’ve tried it on my own
I’ve wandered so far from home
With persistence I have run
But now I want to

Slow down, so help me see clearly
What I need to see the morning I wake up
Lord slow me down
And help me hear the rain fall
Instead of looking for the sun to come up
Lord slow me down

Good Helper Dee

A few weeks ago, my mom commented that she needed me to stay home for one month so that I could help her clean out the attic.

Thanks to Covid-19, she got her wish…and then some.

Every day since last Tuesday, we have spent time in the attic—sorting, arranging, rearranging, remembering, laughing, crying, throwing things away, giving things away, keeping things right where they were, feeling encouraged, feeling discouraged, and lots of things in between.

We have cleaned out three car loads of thrift store stuff and three car loads of empty boxes and trash.

We now know everything that is being stored in half of the attic. Over the next few weeks, we will hopefully figure out everything else.

Today, I found this little card that made me smile. It fell out of my elementary school keepsakes and very simply says: Good Helper Deanna.

Evidently, even at a young age, I was already showing tendencies to help.

Right now, in the midst of this global health crisis, I am feeling a bit helpless to help anyone other than my mom with the attic. I know that I am helping society by sheltering in place as much as possible. I know that I can help by donating money to worthy causes. I know that I can do my job and provide my students with little rays of musical sunshine. But other than that…I feel pretty helpless…and I know I’m not the only one.

Oh God of Help and Hope: Grant us peace and purpose in these times of helplessness and despair. Even in the small things, remind us that we have a purpose much bigger than ourselves and help us to remember that life is most fully lived in the journey, not the outcome. We love you, God. Amen.

Toothbrush Prayer

I can’t believe that I’m admitting this to the world.

But sometimes I don’t brush my teeth at night.

Sometimes I’m too tired.

Sometimes I’m angry with myself and treat the non-brushing as some sort of twisted punishment.

Sometimes I fall asleep early.

Sometimes I’m just lazy.

Regardless, sometimes I don’t brush my teeth at night.

And so…I made brushing my teeth at night my Lenten practice.

I know. It seems a bit odd to add something that should already be part of daily life. But. Well. I’ve already admitted the truth. And so I added the practice.

And not just that. I added the practice of standing still while I brushing my teeth.

I’d gotten into the habit of wandering around the upstairs, picking things up, preparing for bed, etc.

But now. Each night. I find myself standing still in the bathroom, brushing my teeth…praying.

I find myself praying each night…for my friends, my family, my students, myself, this world, the impact of this virus, Love to be real, God to be present, any and everything that comes to mind while I brush off the gunk that could create problems if not removed.

So tonight, I challenge you to join me in a tooth-brushing time of prayer. It may only last a couple of minutes, but that couple of minutes could change someone’s life…not the least of which is your own.

Happy brushing, everyone! And…don’t forget to stay in place. Staying in place is important. But it may be harder than you think…

Whiplash

And we’ve hit a brick wall
A wreck
Whiplash

Life as we knew it, no more
A crash
Change

We see it,
Horrified.
We watch it,
Terrified.
We observe it,
Petrified.
Yet we move through it
Stupefied
Because we must.

We must go on.

So we’ve hit a brick wall
A wreck
Whiplash

Life as we knew it, no more
A crash
Change

We are in pain,
Displaced.
We feel lost,
Uncertain.
We know little,
No control.
Yet we move through it
Determined
Because we must.

We must go on.

Past the wreckage.

To something new.

Together.

Spring Break Prayers

Last Spring Break, a friend and I took a trip to Phoenix to go to the Antiques Roadshow. While there, we took a day trip to Sedona to see some of the most beautiful country there is. To better catch the beauty of our surroundings, we decided to take a hike…and before I knew it, we were hiking full speed ahead, up a very daunting mountain.

I don’t know about you, but I like to take my time when I’m hiking. Not only does it help me physically, but it also helps me mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. I like to go slow—to really take in the sights, smells, and textures of my surroundings. Sometimes I stop to take pictures. Sometimes I stop to write poetry. Sometimes I stop to breathe. But on this hike, I wasn’t stopping for anything. The friends I was with were moving quickly up the mountain and there were strangers on my tail. I didn’t have time to do anything other than pray that I didn’t run out of breath or fall down the mountain. “Help, God, help,” I prayed. “Help, God, help!”

Despite intense peer pressure to keep going to the mountain’s peak, I decided to stop half way up. I really had no desire to climb all the way to the top and I certainly didn’t want to do it at break neck speed. After convincing my friends that I really, truly did not want to keep going, I sat down in a rock crevice on the side of the mountain and breathed a heavy sigh of reprieve. As I sat there, somewhat anxious about getting down the mountain alone but more so content to have stopped the hike, tears of relief filled my eyes. “Thanks, God, thanks,” I prayed. “Thanks, God, thanks!”

After sitting still and gathering my wits for about 15 minutes, I began to make my way down the mountain. I took my time. I helped other people. I stopped and took pictures. I laid on a flat portion of rock for awhile, gazing at the crisp, white clouds in the bright, blue sky, feeling the warmth of the sun hitting my skin. I found an old river bed and imagined what it was like when water had raged there. I marveled at the tree roots. I felt the smooth edges of river rock. I looked up at the mountain’s outline and wondered where my friends were. I had an absolutely glorious time alone, and all I could think was, “Wow, God, wow!” “Wow, God, wow!”

Help. Thanks. Wow. Three simple, yet essential, prayers of our faith.

Dear God: Help us in these days of fear, stress, and uncertainty. Thank you for the work you are doing in the midst of it all. For you are good, gracious, loving, and the God of peace. Wow! Amen.

Stretch Marks

I don’t remember the exact moment that she said it, but I remember the impact of her words. A dear friend of mine declared that she was ugly—her stretch marks an eyesore—her body a beat-up shell of who she used to be.

Even so…she was beautiful.

Especially so…she was beautiful. A mother. A wife. A friend.

And so I wrote this poem…

“Stretch Marks”

See these marks?

Yes, they're ugly.

My skin has stretched far from its ideal,
Far from the notion that
Beauty fits into a size two.

These cells have aged
And grown and changed,
Souvenirs of life displaying
Evidence that
I am not who I used to be.

I am older and wiser,
More experienced but less certain
Of anything
But love
Anymore.

Plans change.
Crayons end up in noses and
Heads knock lips into blood and
Soft drinks and junk food beacon late at night and
I shake my head and laugh it off
And drive my car down the road that looks
Like the marks on my skin and
I marvel in the ugliness that
Truly is radiance and
I drink in the pleasure that
I call my life.

So, see these marks?

Yes, they're ugly.

But look closely and see:

They are me.

And I am beautiful.

Dear God: When we look at ourselves and see ugly, you look at us and see beautifully redeemed. Thank you. Help us to find worth and value even in our flaws and help us to embrace the beautifully messy gift that we call life. Stretch us in you, God. Form us into who we are meant to be. Amen.

**This painting was done by my friend and colleague, Shauna. This is her interpretation of “Stretch Marks.”**

Trying Something New

Have you ever tried to teach “The Star Spangled Banner?”

It’s hard.

The lyrics are hard. The melody is hard. The whole thing is hard. Yet I believe it needs to be taught, and it’s in each of the 3rd, 4th, and 5th grade textbooks, and so I teach it to my 4th and 5th graders each year.

On the 4th week of the SSB unit each year, I have the students put together a word puzzle. In order to do the puzzle, they have to know the lyrics (or at least have a general idea of the story that goes with the lyrics). Historically, most of my students have gotten the first part right: “Oh say can you see by the dawn’s early light, what so proudly we hailed at the twilight’s last gleaming?” But after that, it’s usually been a hot mess. Even when I played the song for them to check their work, students struggled to get the puzzle right. Like I said, they lyrics are hard.

So I had an idea today. I knew that I had a class of struggling readers and that doing a word puzzle was going to be more of a challenge than usual. So I decided to let them to do the puzzles with a lyric sheet to guide them. Their job, then, became matching text to text and putting it in the right order. Once they successfully did that, then they could try the puzzle without any help.

Friends: Today’s lesson was so much more effective than many of my lessons from the past! I simply needed to try something new.

New things don’t always work. In fact, they sometimes miserably fail. It’s then that we have a choice: Go back to what we know or take another leap of faith and dive into yet another new thing. Sometimes we do need to go back—sometimes we need to stick with what’s tried and true. But sometimes we need to keep on leaping until we land comfortably (or at least peacefully) on something or in somewhere new.

Today I took a leap and landed exactly where I needed to be. What about you? What’s something new you’ve tried recently? Did it work? Did you need to go back? Did you keep trying until you landed where you needed to be?

God: Give us the wisdom and discernment to know when we need to stick with what’s tried and true and when we need to try something new. You are the God of yesterday and today, past and future, here and there, tomorrow and beyond, so help us as we seek to know what to do and which direction to go. Here we are leaping…Amen.

Help, Thanks, Wow!

Many years ago, I had this dream of being a retreat and worship leader. For a few years, I was leading retreats and worship events on a regular basis, and I absolutely loved it.

Time has gone by, however, and life has happened, and I have found myself no longer doing what I love the most.

My retreat supplies have become dusty and my confidence in leadership has wavered. The callouses on my fingers have faded and my singing voice has lost some of its power. I have not written a song in years.

Yet in just two weeks, I will have the opportunity to dust off my retreat leading skills and lead a one day retreat.

I’ve been preparing for weeks and I’ve written a little jingle that goes like this:

“Dear God, help
Dear God, thanks
Dear God, wow
And amen

Help me now to make it through
Thank you for all that you do
God, you take my breath away
And still you hear me say

Dear God, help
Dear God, thanks
Dear God, wow
And amen”

I’m excited. But I’m nervous. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers as I prepare to do this thing that I’ve missed yet truly desire to do.

Thanks, friends.

Love,
Dee

Helpless Or Not

I intercepted some drawings today that are not fit for the Internet. They were drawn by two 4th grade boys who have evidently been exposed to sexual matters far beyond their age. It’s sad really—the nature of the drawings and the reality of just how young our children are sexualized in today’s culture. Even commercials are highly sexualized…but these drawings were beyond even what has come to be considered the norm :-\.

I remember the story of a youth minister who was exposed to his first sexual images at a sleepover in the 2nd grade…and from that point forward, he was addicted. His addiction eventually cost him tens of thousands of dollars, various jobs, and his marriage…and it all started in 2nd grade.

It makes me sad. Profoundly sad. And, if I’m honest, it leaves me feeling somewhat helpless…

Meanwhile, I was gifted another drawing by a 4th grade girl who used her time to create a message of empowerment. She drew herself singing the song that we were singing (“Waving Flag”), wearing a black lives matter shirt.

I was happy to see her drawing. I was happy to see that she had chosen to write out song lyrics. She could have chosen a lot of other things, but she chose the words that I was trying to instill in them.

I guess maybe I’m not helpless after all.

God…when the darkness of this world seems too dark to overcome, help us see your light in the many ways that it is shining. In the name of the One who overcomes darkness I pray…Amen.