We are born selfish creatures crying out for someone to take care of our needs. The process of growing in this life seems to be learning how to become less selfish, less self-absorbed. On our good days we can do that, by loving, giving and caring for others before thinking of ourselves. But on our bad days, we look at others and grumble about the unfairness: “Why is it always ME who has to do the giving? Why don't people have to care about ME first? Am I always the one who has to apologize first? Ask about the other’s day first? When is it MY turn to be taken care of?”
We are called to love the way we are loved by Jesus – without figuring out what we will get out of a relationship. “Love one another as I have loved you.” As I have loved you. In the same way Jesus loves us – without limits. And so we love our co-coworker or partner who is crabby and barking. Instead of snapping a response we ask ourselves, “What do they need right now?” It’s not about giving up my dignity or rolling over to a bully. It’s about loving someone who might not be very loveable in that moment.
We can choose to wallow in our own self-pity and self-absorption, but it is in that moment that we are being called more deeply into Jesus’ love. We must die to our own needs and our own longing in order to find a new life in Jesus. In a profound way, we are being called to a simple, complex task: to care about others as we care for, yet in front of, ourselves. What kind of people would we be if we got everything we wanted? If we never had to move outside of our own needs and desires? Jesus asks us: What good is it for us to get everything we wanted, if in the process we lose our very selves?
--Adapted from Looking at Marriage During Lent (http://onlineministries.creighton.edu/CollaborativeMinistry/Lent/marriage-lent.html)
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