Waves And Light And Peace

Up at 6am, out of the house by 6:30am, I drove two hours for church yesterday morning. I spoke for 10 minutes during the early service and sang, “We’ve Got Miles To Go.” I went to Sunday school and thought about purpose and vision. I did the children’s sermon during the 11:00 service and sang “A Follower’s Prayer.” I heard the same sermon twice—a sermon about Isaac and his humanity and God’s faithfulness. I drove two hours home, stopping to fill GiGi The White Ant with gas and Harry My Belly with food. I packed GiGi’s trunk and back seat, lay down on the couch for ten minutes while reading with my ears, and then left home again to pick up Cindy so that we could go to staff retreat.

We stopped by our offices to get planning materials, road down a long road for a long time, had serious and silly conversations, got coffee at Starbucks, and ate supper at Shoneys. We arrived at our hotel around 7:30pm. We overloaded the luggage cart, found our room, unloaded our luggage cart, returned our luggage cart, moved GiGi to a legal parking place, and then sat with Donna, Laurie, and Sandra for a little while before going to walk on the beach.

We walked for a little over an hour. We walked toward the bright lights of the Myrtle Beach Skywheel as if they were a beacon guiding us safely through a dark night. We stopped under the wheel, marveled at its height, and then walked away from it until another night. We came back to the room, got ready for bed, and then I finished the 20th hour of the book that I had been reading since Thursday. I started a 27-hour book today.

Today, too, we’ve talked and thought and worked and planned and in a few moments I will leave the tranquility of the porch on which I'm writing to go inside and cook dinner.

There’s something to the consistency of the waves. There’s something to their movement, to their ebbing and flowing and constant change.

And there was something to the brightness of the lights against last night’s dark sky. There was something beautiful and compelling that made me want to be with the light.

And I think there’s something to Jesus, too. I think there’s something to the ever opening presence of his life and words and something to the light of love that belief offers. There’s something to the peace that he offers in the midst of speaking and sitting and listening and reading and questioning and traveling and eating and drinking. There’s something to the beauty of creation that he, the Word, created—that he, the Word, is creating—and right now, in this moment, as rain begins to fall, I confess that I am humbly overwhelmed by this something of waves and light and peace.

Cheesecake and Soda

I have a hard time with menus—especially long ones. I look at all of the choices and become overwhelmed with the options and then it takes me a long time to decide what I want. The Cheesecake Factory is one of the worst. The menu itself is a spiral bound booklet and the number of cheesecake flavors is over thirty!

And now I have a hard time with the drink machine at my local Moe’s. It’s a computer. The drink machine is. It has a place to get ice, like all drink machines. But then it has a touch screen on which you choose your soda flavor from over 100 different soda flavor options. 100 different options! Then you press the “press” button and the machine dispenses your soda.

Here we are in America with over thirty different flavors of cheesecake and over 100 different flavors of soda—cheesecake and soda both being luxuries with little to no healthy, nutritional value—yet many persons around the world lack for basic food, water, and shelter.

I will confess. I like cheesecake. And I like Moe’s Mondays where I can get an enormous burrito, chips, and drink of almost any flavor for just $5.55. Sometimes I make two meals out of it and I am grateful. But sometimes I can’t help but notice the disparity between my life and the lives of the majority people in this world and sometimes I can’t help but wonder if this fast-paced, information saturated, instant gratification expecting society doesn’t have too many choices (and notice I didn’t even mention all of the choices that we have for watching an hour of television!). Does our myriad of choices actually paralyze us with overload rather than help us live happier, healthier, more satisfying lives.

What do you think?

(And what are your favorite flavors of cheesecake and soda while you’re at it? :-))

For Those Who Cannot Speak For Themselves

Like Thursday’s note, today’s note is a bit different than the norm. This note is actually a newsletter article that I was asked to write for my church. It is a reflection on both the church and an event that I am planning for work. It was actually pretty difficult to write.

I’m not sure why it felt any different than writing a note, but it did. I guess because I know it’s going into print and will be mailed to people who have never heard my name, much less read or cared about my thoughts?

If you were asked to write a newsletter article for your church, then what would you write? What message would you want people to hear about themselves, God, and your community of believers?

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As soon as I saw it, I knew that Eau Claire Baptist Church was the church I had been looking for. From its age to its size to its architectural design to its location in Columbia, ECBC called out to me before I ever entered her doors. And when I did go inside, I found a diverse people with a heart for all of God’s people and I was overcome by the feeling of home.

It just so happens that, at that time, I was not only searching for a church home but also a place to host an event that I am coordinating for my work with South Carolina Woman’s Missionary Union (SC WMU). As part of a national project called Project Help, SC WMU has been educating about human exploitation for over a year. We have defined human exploitation as, “the unethical, selfish use of human beings for satisfaction of personal desires and/or profitable advantage,” and we have identified six focus areas: human trafficking (sex and labor), bullying, pornography, media exploitation of children and families, and natural resource exploitation for personal gain.

On Thursday, October 27, 2011, SC WMU plans to host an event called the Human Exploitation Symposium. This event will provide a practical education to any adult or college student who wants to learn more about human exploitation and what he/she can do to fight it. We are bringing in experts to discuss each focus area, and we are planning times of worship, prayer, and reflection as we seek to center on the reality that God has called us to “Defend the cause of the weak and fatherless; maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed. Rescue the weak and needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked.” (Psalm 82:3-4)

This is where Eau Claire comes in. Eau Claire Baptist Church: in the middle of a struggling part of town. Eau Claire Baptist Church: who has been affected by land and population redistribution over past decades. Eau Claire Baptist Church: who has ample space. Eau Claire Baptist Church: a quiet, steady community presence. Eau Claire Baptist Church: the perfect location for the Human Exploitation Symposium.

Day in and day out, the people and ministries of Eau Claire Baptist Church, ourselves exploited in many ways, seek to live out the commands of Psalm 82:3-4. Against the odds, we seek to be a light in darkness, a place of safety in danger, a home for the wandering, and a voice for “those who cannot speak for themselves” (Proverbs 31:8-9). And now, on October 27th, ECBC will host visitors from across South Carolina who, themselves, desire to join in the work of restoring dignity to human life. We, in our willingness and humility, will open our doors to guests who, like us, believe that, “The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on [us], because the Lord has anointed [us] to preach freedom for the captives and release from darkness or the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn.” (Isaiah 61:1-2)

Thank you, Eau Claire Baptist Church, for being the church of which I am proud to be a part.

May we join together to be hospitable hosts as we offer up the holy and sacred space that God has entrusted to us. Amen.

(For information on how you can help with the symposium, contact Kelly or Jimmy. For information about the symposium—including how to register—visit www.scwmu.org)

Orange Paper (non)Sermon

9/11/11

Yesterday = first day in long time home (tried to avoid)

Being vs. doing
• Doing = work “in the ministry” = know what should and shouldn’t do = keep going and working for God because it’s the right thing.
• Being = resting, praying, listening, sitting with life, thinking = uncomfortable sometimes but where, I think, God reaches us and connects us to God’s heart and all of humanity.

Scripture = Luke 10:30-37 = prayed to hear in new way = fresh eyes and ears:

On one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. “Teacher,” he asked, “what must I do to inherit eternal life?”

“What is written in the Law?” he replied. “How do you read it?”

He answered, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”

“You have answered correctly,” Jesus replied. “Do this and you will live.”

But he wanted to justify himself, so he asked Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?”

In reply Jesus said: “A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he was attacked by robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead. A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side. So too, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, brought him to an inn and took care of him. The next day he took out two denarii and gave them to the innkeeper. ‘Look after him,’ he said, ‘and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.’

“Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?”

The expert in the law replied, “The one who had mercy on him.”

Jesus told him, “Go and do likewise.”


What I heard:
• We are ALL stripped, wounded, departed, left half dead (through loss of jobs, abusive homes, broken friendships, depression, stress, weight of world on shoulders, sickness, shattered dreams, betrayal, loss, and more).
• Samaritan looked down upon and judged = knew how it felt to feel stripped, wounded, departed, outcast. When you know that feeling, you know that you never want anyone to feel it and you do what you can to stop it in those around you!
• Maybe priest and Levite were so busy doing things for God that they hadn’t stopped to realize that they were the same as the man beaten.

Samaritan = physically helped AND gave money to do what he could not do. THAT is how Jesus ways to love with heart, soul, mind, and strength.
• Physically helped = called to different things = different gifts and passions for hands on. Ex. Project Help = I am not called to do something in all areas but am called to some.
• Gave money = gave to help restore dignity and worth of the man = we do that, too, when we give our money to missions and causes bigger than ourselves. Our money reaches where our hands physically, literally, cannot.
• Finished his journey = didn’t sacrifice where he was going but still made sure to reach beyond himself = we do that, too, when we follow our individual call but still offer resources and prayers.

Conclusion:
• In being yesterday, bought DVD player = watch “Coach Carter” = modern day parable = HE BELIEVED IN THE KIDS WHEN NO ONE ELSE DID BECAUSE SOMEONE BELIEVED IN HIM! He paid it forward—as we can—and we can pray it forward as well. Let us pray…
• Thank you, Jesus, for coming to live with us—for being stripped, wounded, departed, and left dead for us—for defeating death to live again and making the way for us to live true life—for living with and loving us and giving us the command to love…

Brave Soul That I Am

Saturday was the first day in a long time that I was in Columbia with nothing to do. To be quite honest, I did my best to avoid spending the day alone. I asked friends to hang out and even considered going home, but everyone was busy and the seven hour drive in less than 24 hours seemed a bit too much. And so I faced the day alone, brave soul that I am.

I’ve been so busy doing lately that I’d forgotten how to be. I’d been going full-speed ahead, doing the work of the ministry, serving others for and with God. I’d been writing and speaking and training and teaching and I’d upheld the moral standards of my call. At the end of each day, I’d gone home and crashed, barely able to keep my eyes open. As I’d drifted to sleep each night, I’d tried to listen for God’s quiet voice as I prayed through my days and weeks…and then I’d had active, vivid dreams. I’d been going to spiritual direction and thinking about spiritual things. I’d pondered and questioned and read and studied and found myself saying, “Dear God,” with almost every breath. And yet...I had been going so much that I hadn’t stopped just to be.

I hadn’t truly been resting, breathing, feeling, grieving, sitting in silence, or acting as if I knew that I had to do nothing to deserve God’s love. As odd as this sounds coming from me who thinks all the time, I hadn’t let the depth of my thinking catch up with me because I knew it might be uncomfortable. I knew I might feel lonely and that the ghosts of negative self-talk might surround me. And so I’d been avoiding just being...

Then came Saturday.

And guess what? I had a really good day. When lonely thoughts came, I just felt them and let them pass. I reminded myself that I’m not alone and that there are people who love me even when they are not physically surrounding me. When my ghosts started to spook me (figuratively, of course), I greeted them, looked at them, asked what they had to teach me, and then told them that I wasn’t going to let them hurt me again. I went for a one hour massage and felt squishy afterwards. I rested and cooked and cleaned and watched HGTV. I finally joined the public library and then bought a DVD player so that I could watch an inspirational movie. Yes, I did things, yet I was really being. I was being because I was doing things solely for the being of myself. I was living my life without demands or expectations from the outside world. I wasn’t trying to please anyone or check anything off of my to-do list. I was engaging in activities that build a life. And I sit here today a stronger person because of it.

I think it’s often easier to do than to be. It’s often easier to keep moving and doing what everyone demands or expects because, that way, we don’t have to figure out who we really are. But you know what? Who we really are—all broken, messed up, ridiculous, contradictory, in process, imperfect, trying—is who God loves. I was reminded of that on Saturday. And I wanted to remind you of the same today.

Are We Friends Now?

My fortune yesterday said that I was soon going to change my present line of work.

I joked with a friend that maybe I could become a professional Facebook updater.

She told me if she were independently wealthy, then she would hire me to write all of her stuff.

I told her that maybe we could write something together and become independently wealthy.

She asked if I had an idea.

I suddenly did.

It's nothing new or revolutionary. Just the story of how two unlikely women have become friends while living into something that can only be described as God-sized courage.

She told me that maybe I should start writing.

I told her that if she told me where to start, then maybe I would.

But then I thought of where I could start...

"Are we friends, now? Because I think we're actually friends. Are we?"
Smiling, "Yes, I think we're friends."

Just Some Thursday Thoughts

Ever wondered what goes through my mind on an average day? Here’s a sampling. Feel free to comment at any time :-).

So much of ministry is being with people where they are--not doing what one feels is good or "right"...

I know we can't always put weight on what people say; however, when more than one or two people say the same things then I think we must stop and consider what truth might be in their words and consider how God can begin to work with us to mold and transform our rough edges into the smooth, polished ones they can be...

We tend to think in extremes. I often wonder what would happen if we did not. Maybe life is not a matter of being “bad” or "good” or "right" or "wrong." Maybe it’s a matter of being present in the journey. We tend to focus on outcome--output--getting from one place to the other--finishing our tasks—getting things done--DOING. What would happen if we instead took intentional steps to BEING? What if we started trying to enjoy the journey—the process—realizing that right can go to wrong and wrong go to right in the blink of an eye. Actually, right to one person can be wrong to another. So maybe we should think less about judging right and wrong, good and bad, and focus on experiencing what is—focus on doing our best to live in healthy relationship and community with God and the world around us...

When does positive self-esteem/self-identity turn to arrogance and pride?...

Yes, there are always things that can be grown and strengthened and refined in us—like our understanding of people and situations and actions and group dynamics—and the acceptance that we cannot single-handedly change the world or fix everything that's wrong—and the practice of remembering that we’re not the center of the universe—and the ability to rest in God. But I don’t think room to grow should be seen as despicable current reality...

When we mess up, I think it’s important to recognize and name that we’ve goofed and then ask ourselves the hard question of what we could do differently next time. I don’t think it’s important to harshly punish or blame ourselves or deem ourselves unworthy. Our time is better spent learning and moving on...

So much of being a leader is coaching. So much is modeling and guiding and letting people develop their own strengths and talents--not doing things for them. That’s really hard for those of us who are perfectionistic doers...

I’m thinking that life is just one big circle and that we're presented with the same types of situations over and over and over again--just in different forms. I think it’s been this way throughout all of humanity. If I’m not careful, then, I’ll start to wonder what’s the point of it all...

What does it mean to be "honest"? Is honesty telling the truth? And should it be spoken at all times, even if it will do no good and/or actually hurt the person hearing it? Are there times when omitting elements of truth is better than raw truth? Actually, what is truth? Is it absolute? Is it changeable? Does that make it opinion? What’s the difference between truth and opinion? Doesn’t it all come down to belief?...

I think that’s about it for now.
Well, those things and bowling.
I’m thinking that I hope I bowl average or above :-).

Retirement: A Labor Day's Reflection

I told my parents yesterday that I wished I could retire. They looked at me and laughed.

I’ve made the statement many times before—the one about wanting to retire. I said it when I was teaching. I said it when working on church staff. I said it when I was in divinity school. I say it now.

Yet I know it’s not what I really wish.

The idea of retirement is nice because it comes with endless possibilities in my mind. It comes with funding and benefits that would free me to go and do many different things—almost all of which include an element of serving and giving back to both this world and the God who created it. It comes with ability to create my own volunteer schedule and to have my own dress code. It comes with the opportunity to rest. And I so longingly desire to rest.

But when it comes down to it, I’m thankful for the ability to work. I’m thankful for the structure and schedule—for opportunities to look beyond the comfort of self and focus on the needs around me. I’m thankful for community and opportunities to make applesauce for or deliver coffee to my coworkers. I’m thankful for diversity and the way gifts and talents work. I’m thankful for routines and planning and the sense of accomplishment that comes when marking things off of the list. I’m thankful for vision and purpose and for all of the tools that I need to complete my work. I’m thankful for a desk and a computer and an office with a window and bookshelves. And I’m thankful for a paycheck that I earn that allows me to live within my means and still have some to give back. I’m thankful for the dignity and worth that comes through holding a job and keeping it. And I’m thankful that God has called me to play a tune outside myself.

As I write this post, I’m getting ready to load my car and head back to South Carolina. I’ve been in North Carolina for the weekend—spending time with friends and family members—and I have been content to be surrounded by joy and love. In times like these, driving back to SC for work is hard. Thoughts of being retired seem so much nicer than thoughts of going into the office tomorrow. Yet…I know that my office is where I am called, so I will drive back with a sense of purpose…albeit it clouded with sadness tonight.

I suppose this is how life is. A mixture of wish and reality; of longing and acceptance; of joy and sorrow; and everything in between. I’m coming to accept this reality and learn to live with and through it…even when my parents laugh at me because my distant wishing is a bit silly.