Isaiah 58

Read these words slowly and carefully (even if it takes a few minutes) and listen to what they say:

1 "Shout it aloud, do not hold back.
Raise your voice like a trumpet.
Declare to my people their rebellion
and to the house of Jacob their sins.

2 For day after day they seek me out;
they seem eager to know my ways,
as if they were a nation that does what is right
and has not forsaken the commands of its God.
They ask me for just decisions
and seem eager for God to come near them.

3 'Why have we fasted,' they say,
'and you have not seen it?
Why have we humbled ourselves,
and you have not noticed?'
"Yet on the day of your fasting, you do as you please
and exploit all your workers.

4 Your fasting ends in quarreling and strife,
and in striking each other with wicked fists.
You cannot fast as you do today
and expect your voice to be heard on high.

5 Is this the kind of fast I have chosen,
only a day for a man to humble himself?
Is it only for bowing one's head like a reed
and for lying on sackcloth and ashes?
Is that what you call a fast,
a day acceptable to the LORD ?

6 "Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
to loose the chains of injustice
and untie the cords of the yoke,
to set the oppressed free
and break every yoke?

7 Is it not to share your food with the hungry
and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter—
when you see the naked, to clothe him,
and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?

8 Then your light will break forth like the dawn,
and your healing will quickly appear;
then your righteousness will go before you,
and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard.

9 Then you will call, and the LORD will answer;
you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.
"If you do away with the yoke of oppression,
with the pointing finger and malicious talk,

10 and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry
and satisfy the needs of the oppressed,
then your light will rise in the darkness,
and your night will become like the noonday.

11 The LORD will guide you always;
he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land
and will strengthen your frame.
You will be like a well-watered garden,
like a spring whose waters never fail.

12 Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins
and will raise up the age-old foundations;
you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls,
Restorer of Streets with Dwellings.

13 "If you keep your feet from breaking the Sabbath
and from doing as you please on my holy day,
if you call the Sabbath a delight
and the LORD's holy day honorable,
and if you honor it by not going your own way
and not doing as you please or speaking idle words,

14 then you will find your joy in the LORD,
and I will cause you to ride on the heights of the land
and to feast on the inheritance of your father Jacob."
The mouth of the LORD has spoken.

I recently came across this chapter in Isaiah, and I've been drawn to it ever since. In thinking about what to write today, I couldn't think of anything more piercing or penetrating than the words you just read.

I must admit that when I first read the passage, I heard something wrong. I heard God called the "Repairer of Broken Walls" and the "Restorer of Streets with Dwellings," not that God's people would be called those names should we choose to follow God's desires for us.

God: Creator, Redeemer, Sustainer; Father, Son, Spirit; Emmanuel, Prince of Peace, Jehovah, Jirah, Alpha, Omega, Beginning and End. God: Repairer of Broken Walls.

To me, that is a beautiful, hopeful, strong image of God...

Even if I heard the original text "wrong."

I find it amazing that scripture is so alive and that God still speaks through words that were written thousands of years ago. I also find it amazing that what we hear one day can be slightly different than what we hear the next--depending on how God is working in our lives in that particular moment of time.

When I first read this passage, I felt as if parts of my heart were breaking because of the events going on around me; therefore, I needed the image of God as Repairer of Broken Walls.

Today, I am drawn not only to that image but also to the reality that God is saying that I, Deanna Deaton, can be a Repairer of Broken Walls if I live out God's call on my life. Wow! Me as a repairer of broken walls...

What about you? How is God using Isaiah 58 to speak to you today?

Life-Changing, Extraordinary Effort

1A few days later, when Jesus again entered Capernaum, the people heard that he had come home. 2So many gathered that there was no room left, not even outside the door, and he preached the word to them. 3Some men came, bringing to him a paralytic, carried by four of them. 4Since they could not get him to Jesus because of the crowd, they made an opening in the roof above Jesus and, after digging through it, lowered the mat the paralyzed man was lying on. 5When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, "Son, your sins are forgiven."

6Now some teachers of the law were sitting there, thinking to themselves, 7"Why does this fellow talk like that? He's blaspheming! Who can forgive sins but God alone?"

8Immediately Jesus knew in his spirit that this was what they were thinking in their hearts, and he said to them, "Why are you thinking these things? 9Which is easier: to say to the paralytic, 'Your sins are forgiven,' or to say, 'Get up, take your mat and walk'? 10But that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins . . . ." He said to the paralytic, 11"I tell you, get up, take your mat and go home." 12He got up, took his mat and walked out in full view of them all. This amazed everyone and they praised God, saying, "We have never seen anything like this!"

Mark 2:1-12 (suggested reading in The Mag, June Issue, pg. 27)

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I don't know about you, but I find it pretty amazing that the paralytic's friends cared for him enough to go to extreme measures to get him to Jesus.

Imagine carrying a paralyzed adult, which amounts to around 150 pounds of dead weight, any distance. Now imagine figuring out a way to get him onto the roof of a house. Then imagine figuring out how to create a large opening in the roof of the house (albeit it a much less durable roof than today's American homes). And finally imagine having to lower him into the house in such a way that no one got hurt! That's pretty remarkable focus and determination...for a friend.

While it's safe to assume that most of us will never be faced with a situation such as the one in this story, it's also safe to assume that all of us will be met with circumstances in which we are compelled to go to extreme measures for our friends (or family members).

A friend may lose a parent to divorce, sickness, death, or disease and may be very angry with God. Another friend may haphazardly experiment with drugs or alcohol and suddenly find herself addicted. Yet another friend may feel lonely and doubt that she is loved or may see the injustices of this world and rage against them. Or another may live in an abusive home and see no ray of hope for the future.

Jesus Christ, Prince of Peace, Repairer of Broken Walls, is that hope that all of us need.

Jesus Christ, God with us, shows us in this passage that he has the power to work in our lives even when we cannot see. Can we literally see when sins have been forgiven? Can we literally see the moment when attitudes and hearts change? No! But we can see when someone is physically healed. And that's what Jesus did. Through physical healing, he demonstrated, or made manifest, his ability to heal the soul. He made clear the power of his being!

So I guess the question for us becomes: 1) Do we believe in Christ's power to transform lives? and 2) Will we go to extraordinary efforts to introduce our friends to Christ--not just in words--but in steady, patient, present, life-changing action?

What's The Most Difficult Thing About My Christian Walk?

I’m spending a few days with Acteens at Camp La Vida in Winnsboro, SC. This afternoon, as my part of my work here, I spent about twenty minutes in a question/answer session with the Acteens. One of the questions that has stuck with me since was the question: What’s the most difficult thing about your Christian walk?

Without hesitating, I said something like this:

“Remembering to love myself and show myself grace. I’m really hard on myself—a perfectionist of sorts—so if I’m not mindful of what I’m doing, I’ll catch myself speaking negative self-talk to and about myself. I don’t think that’s what God wants for me, though. I know that God created me uniquely and wonderfully—I’ve finally learned that in time—and I know that God wants me to love myself with the same love that God shows me and that I show those around me. But sometimes I have such high expectations of myself that I’m not really good at showing myself grace when I mess up or remembering that I’m not the only person in the world who has ever struggled or goofed. So that’s my biggest struggle—living as the girl that God created me to be and allowing God to speak God’s truth into my life rather than only hearing the world’s lies.”

For one reason or another, I’ve found myself battling negative words and feelings for the past couple of weeks. Though I know that the negativity is not all true—that I’m not worthless, that I’m doing my best with my job, that I’m where I need to be, that strains on relationships are not necessarily my fault, that I am worthy of being loved, that I’m not a failure, that my passion for worship and spiritual formation really is a gift, that it’s okay to be aggravated and sad and heart broken and that I don’t have to battle against the feelings but that I can simply feel them—I still find myself struggling to embrace words of loving-kindness and grace toward myself.

In staff training last night, I told the girls that their job was to remind themselves, their campers, and their coworkers that we are all uniquely designed and gifted masterpieces of the Creator.

So tonight I will remind you and myself of the same:

I am the uniquely created, redeemed child of the living God.

You are the uniquely created, redeemed child of the living God.

I am loved and lovable.

You are the same.

No matter what anyone may say or any outside influence may indicate.

We are the uniquely created, redeemed, covered by grace, gifted, loved, children of the living, loving God.

Amen and amen.

Us Against Them

One thing I hate (and I do not use that language lightly), is the "us against them" mindset. Yet, even in writing that statement, I realize how easy it is to fall into its grip.

I am constantly reminded of the scriptures that declare equality through Christ and I am both humbled and challenged in my struggle to remember that even those who declare themselves better--more moral, more holy, more able to interpret God's will for this world (especially America), more able to save souls from the pits of hell, more able to win this world for Christ, more able to declare who is and who is not fit for service in the church or for a relationship with God--than everyone else who professes to believe (though they differ in theology and approach to inviting persons into the beautiful, healing, redemptive body of God's love), are equals in Christ.

God's deep grace and wide love befuddle me.

And all I can do is marvel at its reality and strive to follow in its ways...and do my very best not to fall into the "us against them" attitude of superiority that I hate.

I close with a large portion of Colossians 3:

Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.

Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. Because of these, the wrath of God is coming. You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator. Here there is no Greek or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, (male or female), barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all, and is in all.

Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

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God, forgive me when I unknowingly become the opposite of everything I strive to be. Let your peace overflow from my heart and may everything I do, whether in word or deed, be done in your name, Jesus, Prince of Peace, Emmanuel. Amen.

The Visual Arts in Worship

At the National WMU Annual Meeting on Orlando, Florida, a really neat thing occurred: an artist did a theme interpretation during worship each day/night and this year's National Acteens Panelists got to help.

For the first theme interpretation, the artist walked on stage in chains--hindered--but the Jesus figure (an Acteen) freed her (unhindered--the WMU theme) and she then painted a picture portraying the same.

For the second theme interpretation, each of the panelists painted their own canvases while music played in the background. One of the girls walked away in defeat at one point, but the artist encouraged her to go back and continue her work; she did. At the end of the song, the artist brought the girls together and they held their canvases up to form one picture--the individual parts creating the whole--and the whole was Jesus.

For the third and last theme interpretation, a panelist read a monologue while the artist wrote down some of the words being said. After the monologue, the artist painted over the words to form God's hand holding the world.

The end result of all of the art pieces was awesome--bright--visually stimulating--and the pieces invited worshippers to worship and connected all of the sessions together seamlessly.

And what's so cool? The art was created by someone who chooses to use her talent to worship God. She didn't sing. She didn't play the piano. She didn't speak. She didn't do any of the things traditionally associated with worship. Instead, she incorporated other people into her work, invited them to create with her, and, in the process, produced something beautiful for the glory of God.

The visual arts are just as much a part of worship as the musical arts.

Remember that.

Remember to use your talents--whatever they are--for worship.

A New Look At Proverbs 31

The second half of Proverbs 31 is often read on Mother's Day to talk about the virtues of being a good mother. But on Sunday, during the worship service at National WMU's Annual Meeting in Orlando, Fl, Gayla Parker, Maryland's Executive Director, suggested Proverbs 31 be reread in light of the New Testament. Instead of reading this passage as an impossible list of things that ONE woman should do, she suggested reading it as a description of Jesus' bride: the church. Take a read...and share what you think.

10 A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.

11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.

12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.

13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.

14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.

15 She gets up while it is still dark;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her servant girls.

16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.

17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.

18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.

19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.

20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.

21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.

22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.

23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.

24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.

25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.

26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.

27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.

28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:

29 "Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all."

30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

31 Give her the reward she has earned,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

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Now. Open your Bible and read these verses in context. Isn't that kind of neat?

One Thing I Wish I Knew A Long Time Ago

If there is one thing that I wish I'd learned a long time ago, then it's the concept of emotional triangling.

An emotional triangle is created by any three members of a relationship system or any two members of a system plus an issue or symptom.

Triangles are not necessarily good or bad. Triangles just are.

So what’s important about triangles is understanding them and the way we use them to manage our anxiety and using them to help us choose healthy ways of dealing with conflict.

Last week I wrote about the cut-off as a way of dealing with conflict. The triangle is another way of dealing with conflict and/or anxiety, and being in triangles is so common that most of us don’t even realize that we are in them!

Common triangles are mom/dad/child; mom/sister/brother; coworker/coworker/boss; husband/wife/best friend; husband/wife/an addiction; coworker/coworker/God; summer camp worker/summer camp worker/camp; etc.

Again, triangles are not good or bad in and of themselves, but they DO become bad whenever they are intentionally created out of fear, insecurity, thoughts of rejection, or desires to turn one person against another.

Very often, even within the church—especially within the church—triangles become gossipy and nosy, with two people “talking about” the third—even with the “good intentions” or prayer requests—and they often bring other people into the system—creating more and more triangles. In general, this type of triangling should be avoided.

Additionally, one person of a triangle often becomes the one who tries to “fix” or “control” the relationship between the other two people (or the other person and the issue):

What needs to be understood, though, is this:

Attempts to change the relationship of the other two sides of an emotional triangle are generally ineffective. In fact, these efforts often achieve their opposite intent and leave the “fixer” with the stress of the other two people in the triangle.

We can only change a relationship to which we belong. Therefore, the way to bring change to the relationship of two others in a triangle is to try to maintain a well-defined relationship with each and avoid the responsibility for their relationship with one another.

Read those statements again.

Think about the relationships in your life—especially the ones that seem to be full of tension right now.

Are you trying to change the side of a triangle that you cannot change? Is a third person trying to change something between you and another person or issue? Do you need to adjust the way you engage in some of the relationships in your life? Do you need to triangle in a counselor, pastor, or trusted friend to help you reduce the anxiety that you feel in your relationship with another person or issue?

If I am honest, then I must admit that I am currently in a triangle with God and denominational life. I cannot change the relationship between God and denominational life—specifically between God and denominational leaders—but I CAN work on my relationship with God and my attitude toward and relationship with denominational life…and then trust God and denominational life to do their own work together.

Somehow, I find this knowledge of triangles very freeing.

You?

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This was part two of a two part series. Information taken from http://www.thebowencenter.org/pages/theory.html; Review and Expositor, Vol. 102, No. 3; and "Family Systems and the Power of Roles, Secrets, Myths, and Lies" By David Stoop, PhD. Special thanks goes to Mandy England Cole and Dr. Timothy Brock.

That Moment Is Now

This is part one of at least two notes that record what I've been learning through my study of Bowen Family Systems. I took a class on Systems Theory in seminary, and it deeply impacted me. I returned to its study recently while preparing for my teaching sessions at La Vida and Mundo Vista. Talking about this yesterday is what prompted my friend to tell me that I needed to be a motivational speaker :-).

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Our families of origin play a profound influence on who we become in life. Whether we recognize it or not--or whether we desire it or not--we are deeply connected to our families. In fact, how we learn to relate to one another within our families impacts how we relate to the rest of this world.

The emotional interdependence of families develops to promote the cohesiveness and cooperation that families require to protect, shelter, and feed their members. Heightened tension, however, can intensify the processes that promote unity and teamwork, and this can lead to problems. When family members get anxious, anxiety can escalate and spread infectiously among them. As anxiety goes up, the emotional connectedness of family members becomes more stressful than comforting. Eventually, one or more members feels overwhelmed, isolated, or out of control.

One way people deal with emotional anxiety is the "cut-off." A cut-off is a strategy used to cope with the intensity of anxiety in a system by creating emotional distance. Sometimes cut-offs are temporary and are needed to create the space and time to garner strength for future work that needs to be done. Sometimes cut-offs are more permanent and result in writing someone out of one's life. Cut-offs are oftentimes easier than doing the hard work of dealing with difficult emotions, but the challenge is to stay connected…as a mature, self-differentiated self.

A mature individual is one who takes responsibility for the emotional and spiritual health of self.

A self-differiented individual is a mature individual who has learned to define yourself apart from, yet as part of, her surroundings.

A mature, self-differentiated self will work to understand what she thinks and believes. She will observe, listen, and explore outward and inward thoughts and actions to determine where she stands in in thought and opinion. As she does this, she will learn not to feel threatened by people who differ from her.

As she learns to embrace herself--both virtues and flaws included--she becomes more accepting and forgiving of others, realizing that they are them and that she is she, and that no one can force emotional change on another. Knowing where she stands, the mature, self-differentiated self can make decisions based off of her convictions and desires, even when they're difficult, and not allow "group think" or "mob mentality" to suck her in and influence her to act in a way that is not consistent with who she is. Furthermore, she has the ability to act as a non-anxious presence, thus lowering the anxiety of those around her.

Are you working toward becoming a mature, self-differentiated self?

Have you cut-off someone off in the past but realize that it's time to take steps to reconnect?

The beauty of thinking of yourself as part of a larger system is realizing that you are not alone. In a system, there is little use for cause and effect. Blame is not in the vocabulary. All actions and behaviors are part of the larger whole and are influenced by layers of life that we cannot see; therefore, one life is always influencing other lives and vice versa, and all we can do is do the best with what we have in the moment in which we have it.

And that moment is now.

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Information taken from http://www.thebowencenter.org/pages/theory.html; Review and Expositor, Vol. 102, No. 3; and "Family Systems and the Power of Roles, Secrets, Myths, and Lies" By David Stoop, PhD

A Funny Conversation :-)

Friend: “Yeah, I think you might want to think about a career in motivational speaking.”

Me: “Hahahahaha. That’s funny. I do like speaking. Don’t know if I motivate people or not, though, because I think I may be too abstract and boring. But I try and I get all animated.”

Friend: But you get invited to do it a lot so I assume you do a good job. I haven’t heard you speak recently, so I don’t know ;-).”

Me: “I think it’s because I appear to be confident about what I’m talking about. And because I don’t care if my legs are shaved or not.”

Friend: “Fake it till you make it, I guess.”

Me: “Anyone who can proudly sport hairy legs must be self-confident and warrant listening to!”

Friend: “Hahaha. So true! Spoken like a champ!

***Special Note: I DO shave my legs...just not as often as other people :-).****

The Warrior Is A Child

When I was kid, I used to hang out with my piano teacher’s daughter, Trisha. I was in my elementary years and she was in her high school years, yet we were the best of friends. She used to take me to the park and let me swing. She would take me on walks to the end of the street where we would sit and play ‘I Spy.’ She would let me come to her house and eat with her or watch television or listen to music. She was my hero. And to this day I smile when I think about her.

I especially remember one particular day when I went to visit with her up in her room. We were sitting on her bright red (or was it purple?), fluffy carpet listening to records on her record player. She had just gotten a new Twila Paris record and she wanted to make a tape of one the songs. So she got out her tape player and set it up. Since this was before the days of stereos that would directly record, I remember having to sit there in silence while the song was playing. That was hard for me! But I managed to do it, though I’m sure that I probably messed up a time or two.

The funny thing about the whole situation is that I still remember the song that she recorded that day: "The Warrior is a Child," by Twila Paris. That’s the song that’s been in my memory for well over twenty years. At odd points in my life, I’ll start singing the lyrics. The tune lurks around in my head as a permanent fixture. Whenever I listen to my Twila Paris CDs, I make sure that I hear that song first. And I do that because of that day that I spent with Trisha. Isn’t it funny how impressionable we were as children?

As a child, however, I had no idea what that song meant. I couldn’t understand how wonderful it is to always have a friend walking beside me—guiding and protecting me. I couldn’t understand how life could weigh me down to the point that I could do nothing but fall on my knees and cry. I couldn’t understand the pressures that this world places on the adult—the pressure to do so many things and to do all of them well—the pressure to appear unstoppable. I couldn’t understand the importance of my childlike faith. But I was listening to music that told me about it. I was listening to music that I would take with me throughout the rest of my life. It sure is a good thing that Trisha made me listen to Christian music. I’d hate to have "Elvira" as the only permanently ingrained song in my mind and have to attempt to find inspiration from it! :-)

I played "The Warrior is a Child" as soon as I woke up this morning. It’s been in my mind all day. It’s okay to be a child. It’s okay to need a parent's approval. We don’t have to be perfect. We don’t have to be an unstoppable warrior. We have only to be ourselves. God wants us to learn to walk and must therefore take away his hand. So, if only the will to walk is there then God is pleased even with our stumbles.

Indeed we are warriors, but we are just as much so children. We are God's. And God loves us. Praise be to God the Father of us all.

Everyone Is Fighting A Great Battle

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle." Philo of Alexandria

As I got out of my car to walk into work this morning, I overheard part of a conversation between two of the men who work in the building. As one of the guys was getting his stuff ready for the day, the other one approached him and asked how his wife was doing. The first man responded with something about his wife's treatment...and I was suddenly reminded that his wife had been diagnosed with cancer and that his world had been greatly shaken. Yet...he continues to come to work each day and function with the focus and energy to get his job done.

Thinking about this contradiction--inwardly falling apart and being filled with fears and doubts while outwardly holding things together and projecting strength and certainty--caused me to remember Philo of Alexandria's quote, "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle."

Though I know it's true in my own life--that I often project a different emotional reality than the one I'm really feeling underneath my outward appearance--I sometimes forget that it's true in other people's lives as well. Despite what people project, we are all fighting a great battle...whether that battle be sickness, depression, addiction, envy, rage, anger, hurt, abuse, grief, finances, wayward children, strained marriages, struggles with self-image, struggles with self-worth, questions of faith, questions of call, questions of life's meaning, or any combination of these things and more...

We are all fighting a great battle...even those we have trouble loving...and I need to remember that today.

I need to remember that, in our battles, we each need to be reminded of our dignity and worth and that God's love is steady through everything that we face. I need to remember that, as such, my encouragement and representation of God's love should be steady as well and that I should not become so self-focused that I forget to notice the lives around me and play my part in showing this world kindess.

I hope you will remember those things, too...and that together we can impact the people of this world who are at battle with themselves...one person at a time.

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Here there is no Greek or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all, and is in all. Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Colossians 3:11-17

The Deer's Cry

I arise today

Through the strength of heaven:

Light of sun,

Radiance of moon,

Splendour of fire,

Speed of lightning,

Swiftness of wind,

Depth of sea,

Stability of earth,

Firmness of rock.

I arise to-day

Through God's strength to pilot me:

God's eyes to look before me,

God's wisdom to guide me,

God's way to lie before me,

God's shield to protect me,

From all who shall wish me ill,

Afar and anear,

Alone and in a multitude.

Against every cruel merciless power that may oppose my body and soul

Christ with me, Christ before me, Christ behind me,

Christ in me, Christ beneath me, Christ above me,

Christ on my right, Christ on my left,

Christ when I lie down,

Christ when I sit down,

Christ when I arise,
Christ to shield me,

Christ in the heart of every one who thinks of me,

Christ in the mouth of every one who speaks of me.


I arise to-day

--Celtic Woman

Confession: I Struggle To Love

Since yesterday was Memorial Day, I've felt the need to write something to mark the day and honor the men and women for whom the day is remembered. I spent yesterday in a somewhat somber mood, watching Memorial Day videos and shedding tears over the military lives lost and for families who grieve the losses. Throughout the day today, I've thought about how being remembered is something that most people desire in their lives and that being forgotten is something that most people fear. I've faced that fact head on as I've mourned the reality that I've moved from home, that I'm not going back to the camp that I love, that my life and work seem so easily replaced, that even those of us with the best intentions sometimes forget and are forgotten...

Yet moreso than those thoughts--as heavy and demanding as they've been--the one thought that keeps settling on my mind is how much I struggle to love.

Now, those of you who know me well know that I love deeply, sometimes to a fault. I try to be kind and compassionate and I have learned to live in grace. I even sometimes pride myself on my ability to welcome people and let them know that they are loved (I know, I know, pride is a bad thing)...yet...today...I must confess that I struggle to love...

those who have deeply hurt me,
those who reject the opportunity to work through their own junk,
those who refuse to have open dialogue about deep issues of life and faith,
those who think they know it all,
those who stand in harsh judgment of people they do not understand,
those who think they are better than anyone different from themselves, and
those who perpetuate hate in the name of a loving God.

Ever since a harsh sermon on Sunday morning, I have been painfully reminded just how much I struggle to love some of my brothers and sisters in Christ and some of the rest of humanity who were, indeed, created in God's image. As part of my struggle, I want both to confess my shortcomings and ask for my friends' forgiveness and to post an updated version of a prayer that I wrote on Sunday afternoon.

May this prayer and confession resonate with those of you who struggle to love, too...and may we together fall into a rhythm that allows us to love without bitterness, resentment, jealousy, or regret...

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God,

Forgive me when I judge others and do not love with your all-consuming love.

But forgive others, too, when they do the same and perpetuate a theology of judgmental, arrogant division that I find repulsive.

I dare think that you find self-absorbed conceit repulsive, too, God.

But if I'm wrong, then I ask you, again, to please forgive me for being the exact thing that I despise.

Show me your way of unconditional, creative, life-welcoming, and life-giving love...both in action and attitude.

Always.

Amen.