Wednesday, November 30, 2011

We Don't Like To Talk About This, But...

According to www.xxxchurch.org, 40% of Christian women struggle with porn. Porn surrounds us. Soft porn has become a cultural norm. Yet pornography is something that we don’t discuss. And so it is eating at the very core of many Christians.

While most Christians will say that it is wrong, pornography must be recognized as a complicated issue. Many times, porn addiction begins with innocent sexual questions that progress into secret activities of shame. Viewing porn is something that can be done alone, in the privacy of the home or dorm room. It is something that is not immediately traceable and seems not to cause any harm. Viewing porn is a risky, rebellious activity for many Christians who otherwise seem to have everything together. Viewing porn is an escape from reality--a momentary release from the stress and pressures of life. Viewing porn, therefore, is a very real temptation in times that are stressful—in times when life seems out of control—in times full of papers and exams and the demands of holiday life…

So to simply acknowledge that porn is wrong is often not enough. The compulsion or addiction to view porn is often stronger than morality; therefore, we must acknowledge more than its “wrong.” We must shed God’s light on the truth that pornography is not innocent and that it distorts reality. It distorts healthy views of sex and sexuality and creates tension between couples. It sets unrealistic expectations on partners and bodies and portrays women as nothing more than sexual objects. It encourages sex as raw feeling and control rather than intimacy and emotional connection.

What’s more, the pornography industry is fueled by human trafficking, often using trafficking victims to produce its films. If we, as a church and/or society, cannot agree that pornography itself is bad—and we may never come to this agreement—then the fact that this multi-billion dollar industry is fueled by activity that blatantly disregards the dignity of human life and Christ's command to love one another holding persons in bondage through force, fraud, and coercion, should be enough to unite us and compel us towards a stop.

If you or someone you know is addicted to pornography, please know that there is help and that there is grace. God’s design for us is to live in freedom rather than darkness, in joy rather than shame. It’s never too late to take that first step out of darkness—to have that first conversation—to say no that first time—even when life is stressful and everything seems out of control. God is there. And God loves you—and the person beside you—and the addict next door…

Amen.

My Mouth Hurts

[written Monday, 11.28.11]

I spent a majority of my day at the dentist. Don’t worry. Nothing is wrong. But I did see my entire dental and medical history flash before my eyes this morning as I sat through mouth x-rays, realized my blood pressure was high, and wondered if I had cavities, gum issues, a fractured tooth, a tender root, and/or any of the other major dental issues one could have. I didn’t. But you know what I did have? A whole lot of stress.

A little back story:

When I was 24, I realized that I had high blood pressure when I was at the dentist. My hygienist took my blood pressure as a routine action and then refused to clean my teeth until I had gone to the doctor and had my blood pressure checked. Because the bottom number of my blood pressure—the one that measures the pressure of the heart at rest—was high, my doctor immediately put me on BP medicine. Thank you, parents for high blood pressure genes and thank you, anxiety, for living as a stress ball inside me.

A few years later, during another routine cleaning, my jaw almost locked open. Because of this, my dentist fit me with a bite guard to help me not clinch my jaw. I must admit that I’m not a faithful bite guard wearer…which is actually why I had to return to the dentist this afternoon.

After my cleaning this morning, I realized that I was clinching my jaw a lot and putting a lot of pressure on one particular tooth, thus causing it to ache sometimes. The simple solution? Wear my bite guard. But first, it needed to be adjusted.

As my dentist was doing the adjustment, I had the hardest time relaxing my jaw so that he could move it freely. I tried as hard as I could to relax—which sounds like an oxymoron—but I had a super hard time! I suddenly remembered my massage therapist saying, “Yeah, I know,” when I mentioned that I had a hard time relaxing my arm. I’m seeing a pattern here.

My arm is connected to my shoulder which is connected to my neck which is connected to my jaw…the muscles of all of which I evidently have trouble relaxing.

The sad thing? I thought that I’d begun to unwind from the major parts of the stress that I knew I had been carrying!

Sigh.

There is no uplifting point to this note. My mouth hurts. But my teeth are clean. I have no cavities or major dental issues. And I have an adjusted bite guard that will hopefully help me not clinch my teeth, thus helping relax my jaw muscles, thus helping me release some of the stress that I carry, thus helping lower my blood pressure a bit? [Okay. I realize that last one is a stretch, but…we can hope, right?

God, thank you for people who don’t get grossed out working in other people’s mouths.

Amen.

An Attitude of Gratitude

Give us thankful hearts...
in this season of Thy Thanksgiving.
May we be thankful for health and strength,
for sun and rain and peace.
Let us seize the day and the opportunity
and strive for that greatness of spirit
that measures life not by its disappointments
but by its possibilities,
and let us ever remember
that true gratitude and appreciation
shows itself neither in independence nor satisfaction
but passes the gift joyfully on
in larger and better form...
—W.E.B. Dubois


For Thanksgiving this year, we remember, as Dubois suggests, that gratitude is in itself a practice. The expression that "true gratitude and appreciation... passes the gift joyfully on in larger and better form" suggests that we should not think of gratitude as a passive experience but as something we do, thanksgiving that we reflect back to the world through our actions and gifts. A recent New York Times article reports scientific findings that "an 'attitude of gratitude' has been linked to better health, sounder sleep... greater satisfaction with life and kinder behavior toward others." There's a reason for that—joy begets joy.

--Taken from this week's Alliance of Baptists E-Newsletter

Monday, November 14, 2011

Everything I Could Fit Into My VB Duffel Bag

I am a vivid dreamer. In fact, I wish that I had the diligence to record all of my dreams because I know they’d tell me a good deal about myself. A few years ago, I did have this diligence and I’m now able to look back and see a written record of transformation in my dreams—a transformation of real life hurt and anger to one of forgiveness and being okay. It’s amazing how much work can happen in our dreams…which may be why I often wake up just as tired as I was before I lay down!

I had a weird dream the other night that I keep thinking about. It’s hard to put the images into words but I’m going to try:

I was either at a conference or at work when I went outside and noticed that the tide was really high. As I flew away for a quick break, I realized that everything around my building had been destroyed—including my building—only, the floors that were below the ground were just fine—therefore my office or hotel room or dorm room (it was all of these things at one point) was fine, too. Because of the mass devastation that the waves had caused, everyone was evacuating the building—for good. They were never going to be allowed back. I refused to evacuate, however, because I didn’t have my phone or wallet or computer or anything else that I needed to survive.

I knew that my space was safe—I had just come from it, after all, and didn’t even know the rest of the building had collapsed until I took a flying break—so I didn’t see why I couldn’t go back and grab what I needed. I shared this predicament with Boss. She agreed and told me to follow her. She then led me to an underground mall where National WMU President, Debby Akerman, and National WMU Executive Director-Treasurer, Wanda Lee, were eating Chinese food. Boss quietly interrupted them and asked Debby for the key to our rooms and explained that we needed to get back to them to get something. Debby gave us the keys and we returned to our space—carefully avoiding the “Caution: Do Not Enter” tape.

When we got to our space, we found a couple of our other coworkers—or friends from college or my school teaching days—I think the people changed. Quietly, we each began to pack up our stuff, hoping that we wouldn’t get caught. At first, I packed haphazardly—just putting stuff into my bag. But then I realized that I had been granted more time than originally planned, so I began to unpack and repack—this time being more careful.

I knew that I could only take what I could fit into my Vera Bradley duffel bag, so I carefully considered what items were truly important. I asked myself if clothes were things that I often wore—if they would be difficult to replace if left behind (like the pair of jeans that just can’t be replaced)—if I could buy them again easily—if I never really wore them. I asked myself about books and papers and such…and I had to make sure that this one striped shirt was with me because it was really my favorite pillow case that a friend had given me.

As I sat there and packed my VB bag, I hoped that the guards wouldn’t come and throw me out before I was finished. I also tried to figure out the best way to say goodbye to everything left behind and to load my VB bag into my car…but then the dream shifted to me flying away, over a school yard, trying to direct myself to a safe landing but losing control and becoming a fugitive weapon and…then I woke up.

Jenny used to tell me that dreams were either fear or wish dreams. And I think most of the time that’s true. But I’m not so sure what this dream was…except for weird…and one that’s made me think about what I’d pack in my VB duffel bag if I had to weed down everything I own into just one bag.

What about you? What do you think you’d take from your office, hotel, dorm, class, or bed room if the building above you crashed? Or…what weird dream have you had lately?

Beyond Chocolate

Human trafficking exists in two forms: sex trafficking and labor trafficking. Both forms of trafficking are, in actuality, modern day slavery, and they force individuals—usually women and children—to do work or sex acts through force, fraud, or coercion. Many “gentlemen’s” club workers, prostitutes, and pornography stars do not willingly engage in their work but are forced there by human trafficking. Likewise, many nannies, hotel and restaurant workers, migrant workers, and workers in the chocolate industry (to name a few) are not provided with proper wages and living conditions but are forced to do their work by someone else who profits from their labor.

Human trafficking is a billion dollar industry. Its influence reaches deep and affects each of us in ways that we may not know. Read today’s article by Christy Amar and listen to how God may be leading you to change your buying habits…especially with chocolate.

http://www.mymissionfulfilled.com/article.asp?id=2488

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Simple Complexity Beside the Naked Yellow Tree

The yellow tree beside my window is almost completely naked now. I’ve watched her strip her leaves today, gently releasing them from her branches, freeing them to float to the ground. It’s been lovely to watch, a beautiful cascade of color in the background of my black and white, computerized work…

The thoughts and questions on my mind today are simply, complex:

My question of the week: I’ve not come up with a definite answer, but I’ve been thinking about it. How do I communicate my work and call in a non-apologetic way?

My conviction of the week: I need to make a better effort of purchasing gifts and items that allow me to be a good steward of my resources while also supporting the community/economy and not supporting slave-labor. This conviction was planted earlier in the week after reading the following post by my friend Sean: OK people, please bear with me for a quick update/rant...Stop buying stuff online and support your community!!! Don't click! It is less than 50 days until Christmas and we are solidly in the 4th quarter. In my area of retail, 30%+ of our yearly sales happen in the 6-7 weeks before Christmas. Here are the trends that I've seen... 1) The average ticket price is the same to slightly better than last year, and 2) The number of tickets per day (compared to this time last year) has dropped dramatically. Here is my analysis: The people shopping with us are doing fine (financially), but we are losing our customer base. If our tickets were down and price per ticket were down, then I'd say it was more of an economic downturn. In our area we have lost (local) competitors yet had a growth in population. These people have to be shopping somewhere. I am assuming that they are buying online. If this continues, I will be out of a job and you may see another empty store front. For every $100 spent at a large chain, $13 stays local; whereas, for every $100 spent at a local indie store, $45 stays in the community.

My literary quote of the week: I listened to a dramatization of “Lord of The Rings” this week and pretty much had no idea what was going on most of the time; however, I did hear some pretty awesome quotes. This is one of them. And I think it’s a profound statement of redemption and grace: "He deserves death." "Deserves it! I daresay he does. Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgement. For even the very wise cannot see all ends. I have not much hope that Gollum can be cured before he dies, but there is a chance of it. And he is bound up with the fate of the Ring. My heart tells me that he has some part to play yet, or good or Ill, before the end; and when that comes, the pity of Bilbo may rule the fate of many - yours not least." (Frodo and Gandalf discussing the fate of the betrayer Gollum, Chapter 'The Shadow of the Past')

What are the thoughts and questions on your mind today?

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Ignorance May Be Easier But Knowledge May Be Redemption

I don’t remember where, but I read somewhere that washing dishes by hand actually uses more water than washing dishes with a dishwasher—and, no, it wasn’t a dishwasher add. Being the dutiful natural resource exploitation fighter that I’m trying to become, I decided that I would start using my dishwasher instead of washing my dishes by hand. The only problem is that my dishwasher doesn’t actually clean many of the dishes most of the time; therefore, I end up washing a bunch of dishes again—by hand. I’m thinking that I’m not saving much water that way…so I’ve decided to go back to washing dishes by hand…and apologizing to God and the universe if I’m wasting water…especially since a whole bunch of water always ends up on my belly.

I decided, too, to scrape the bottom of my pots and pans with steel wool in hopes of helping them work better again. I don’t know what’s happened to them but they’re not cooking as well as they used to. Yet I feel bad getting new ones and producing the trash of the old ones. So I’m hoping I can restore the ones that I currently have. True. There are plenty of new pots and pans that have already been manufactured and will therefore one day be trash, but if I don’t buy them then I am not demanding them and if I don’t demand them—along with a bunch of other people—then maybe the need to over produce will stop. I have to do my part, right?

Sometimes I think that ignorance is easier than this!

Last week, I had the opportunity to rescue a bunch of “trash”—only, it really wasn’t trash at all. It was stuff that other people simply didn’t want and was therefore being thrown away. Here’s how some of it will be used by Barb the Art Teacher, Jacqui the Crafter, Mom the Musician, or a couple of others:

1) Scrap paper will be used for drawing/coloring designing.
2) Old give-a-away mirrors will be used to help the students with self portraits. I rescued an entire box of these.
3) A plastic cart will be used to roll paint supplies around the classroom.
4) An old display box will be made into a piece of art.
5) A perfectly good, wall-sized art picture frame will be used to house a piece 0f art from grandchildren to grandmother.
6) A wooden house frame will made into a piece of art.
7) Unused chopsticks will be made into art journals.
8) Animal bingo chips will be used for an art lesson on creativity. Barb gives her students two animals and has them combine them into one new animal.
9) A table easel will be used for teaching and holding big books.
10) Pocket folders will be used for art journals.
11) Hanging file folders will be used for organizational stuff.
12) A wall filing system will be used to sort mail.
13) Desk filing systems will be used to organize classroom folders and art.
14) Three ring binders will be used for a county-wide art teacher meeting, to hold choir music, and at an after school tutoring program.
15) Old banners will be used as drop cloths.
16) A portfolio carrier will be used to transport student art work to the county wide art show.
17) The Five Love Languages book and teaching pack be used as a church study.
18) Two teaching packs on financial freedom will be used as church studies.
19) A magnetic board and picture frames will be used to hang pictures.
20) An upright desk paper holder stands will either be used to hold papers at the computer or to hold books for the kids to see.
21) A CD holder will be used to store teaching CDs.
22) Rigid square tiles will be used as square templates.
23) Bendable square tiles will be used in a print project.
24) Wooden desk trays will be used as pet beds or some other crafty thing.
25) An entire box of “Making The Church Work” will be distributed to people who want them.
26) Magazine holders will be used to store, well, magazines.

And…there’s more…but I can’t think of what it is right now.

Yes, it took me quite a bit of time and effort to make sure stuff wasn’t wasted. As people threw things out, I picked them up. But it’s totally worth it to know that perfectly good resources are being put to good use…by friends and family members—by associations and churches—who actually needed the resources not to be thrown into the trash.

I spent a good portion of last week singing the chorus of, “Rescue The Perishing.” I might be wrong…but maybe rescuing reusable “trash” really is part of rescuing the perishing…and maybe my simple actions of being mindful of the water that I use in washing dishes and thinking twice before throwing away my pots and pans really is part of redeeming this world.