Yes. And. I Love You.

 

You look at me and say:

 

I stole a lot of things when I was younger.

I used to do drugs.

I’m addicted to pain killers.

I once drank so much that I blacked out and ended up in bed with someone I didn’t know.

I’ve had to have someone hold my hair back more times than I care to admit.

He told me he didn’t want the baby and took me to get it taken care of and now I feel very empty.

I’m the other woman.

I never wanted to be a mother.

I don’t love him anymore.

I’m divorced.

He’s abusive.  

I walk on eggshells in my own home.

I don’t feel safe.

I’m on medication for depression and anxiety.

Sometimes I don’t shower because I don’t have the energy.

I have $15000 of credit card debt.

I’m on food stamps.

I go to the food pantry.

I hate my job but it’s what my family expects.

I miss him every day.

I’m exhausted.

I binge watched movies all day so I didn’t have to think.

I’m gay.

The only thing that keeps me alive is not wanting them to find me dead.

I don’t believe in God.

God makes me angry.

I don’t even know if I believe in God anymore, yet I’m their pastor.

 

I look at you and say:

 

Yes.

And.

I love you.

 

Amen.

 

**Adapted from 1.23.14’s note, “Say The Same Thing.”**

**Listen on Spotify: https://anchor.fm/deatonnotes/episodes/Yes--And--I-Love-You-e2eoc42