My Checkbook is Balanced

 

I may be one of the only people in the modern world who still balances her checkbook.

But I do.

I don’t like looking at my balance online because it’s deceptive.

It makes me think I have more money than I have.

I must always keep $1000 in my checking account to avoid a service charge.

If I go below $1000 at any given point in the month,

Even if it’s just for an hour,

Then I am charged a service charge

And it immediately makes me grumpy.

I know I could switch banks.

I know the SECU or USAA are good options.

But that’s not the point 😊.

The point is that it makes me grumpy.

 

Being the super busy traveler that I was last Fall,

I didn’t balance my checkbook for a couple of months;

Therefore, I didn’t see the flashing zero in my ledger book and

Let my balance go below $1000 last week.

 

True to form.

It made me grumpy.

 

So I was grumpy while waiting in line at the ATM to deposit the money needed to regain $1000.

And then I got even grumpier when I did something I don’t normally do:

I looked at the receipt left by the person in front of me.

He had over $14000 in his account!!!

What?!

$14000???!!!

That’s over six months of take home pay for me!

Yes. That’s right. After taxes, retirement, and various other expenses come out of my check,

My paycheck is just over $2000 per month.

After taking out all of my fixed monthly expenses,

I have less than $200 per month to spend.

I figured this out the other night while balancing my checkbook and updating my budget sheet.

It stressed me out.

And going below $1000 made me grumpy.

And then I find the random receipt of someone who has $14000 sitting in his checking account.

And my stressed out, grumpy self,

Tired from returning to work where I, as a teacher, absorb the emotional energy and trauma of 500 little ones for whom I am responsible,

Started crying,

For me, and for all the people struggling to make ends meet;

For me, and for all the teachers whose pay far from respects the work that we do;

For me, and for all the people who will never see anything close to $14000 in their checking accounts;

For me, and for all the teachers who sometimes feel demoralized when they dwell on just how unfair it is to not get a raise for nine years after teaching for fifteen.

 

Recently, I have been writing about how goodness abounds.

And I believe that it does.

And I am abundantly fortunate that I have the resources that I need to help ends meet.

But sometimes goodness is temporarily overshadowed by stress and grumpiness

Because sometimes life simply isn’t fair.

 

Dear God: When life’s inequality, stress, and grumpiness begin to overwhelm, help us to feel what we’re feeling, name it, and move through it. Help us to find the good—even if it’s in something as small as the checkbook being balanced—and help us to use that good to get by. God, there have always been rich and poor. Help the rich use their riches for good and help the poor to find the resources that they need to get by. Help each of us to be good stewards of our time and money and help us to have the faith to pray and believe, “Give us this day our daily bread.” Amen.