Naming Grace

We have a difficult parent in the car rider line. She's been rude to a few of us a few different times and she's unsafely tried to go around traffic when she hasn't wanted to wait to leave. I was complaining about this to a friend, explaining how the mom's children are somewhat difficult, too, when my friend casually responded, "She probably has a mood disorder." I suddenly felt bad for complaining about the parent and not extending her more grace. I know that I know that I know that there is almost always more than meets the eye. When I told Joe the Counselor about all of this, he listened attentively. He appreciated my friend's gentle reminder and smiled at my knowing. But he also said, "You know. Sometimes it's nice just to be able call a person a name and be okay with it." I smiled. Joe is right. But my friend's reminder was right, too. It's good to name our feelings in safe spaces. It's good to be honest about the responses that other's behaviors invoke. Stuffing everything inside for too long can slowly eat away at the core. But it's also good to be gracious to people and to imagine life from a viewpoint not our own. I understand life from the viewpoint of a teacher during the pandemic. But I don't understand life from the viewpoint of a parent during the pandemic--especially not the parent of difficult children. I understand life from the viewpoint of a person living with generalized anxiety disorder. But I don't understand life from the viewpoint of someone living with bi-polar disorder, or borderline personality disorder, or major depressive disorder, or any number of other mood disorders. So I should be gracious. And kind. Even when it's hard. But not when it isn't safe. And even then, I can be firm without being rude... I saw our difficult parent in the car rider line this morning. At first, I cringed when she rolled to my station. Inwardly, I was worried that she'd fuss at me. But I simply smiled and said, "Good morning," just as I do to everyone. I silently wished her well and said a little prayer for her. Then she rolled away without incident. And I smiled.