I Want My Mommy To Cry When I Leave Her

 

We have a kindergartener who cries loudly every morning when she gets out of the car. 

 

She is very vocal about what she’s thinking and feeling, and I must admit that it makes me smile. 

 

She has walked by crying,

“I want my mommy and Nonna.”

“My stomach hurt hurts.”

“My tummy feels nervous.”

“I want to see my teacher.”

“I just want my mommy to cry when I leave her.”

 

Why does this student’s angst make me smile?

 

Because she, in her five year-old wisdom, is working through her anxiety and grief.

 

She is putting words to what her body is feeling and what her brain is processing and she is letting out her emotions in a raw way. 

 

She is doing what we as adults have been conditioned not to do, yet I have to wonder if we would be healthier individuals if we were able to express our anxiety and grief as this Kindergartner expresses hers.

 

No, we can’t walk around wailing. Although, to be honest, there are times when I feel like  walking around wailing. When I open FB and read about another school shooting. When I consider that no space is safe anymore. When I lament the state of mental health and lack of gun safety and disconnection

from real people in our country. I feel like walking down the sidewalk with someone holding my hand as I wail. But like I said, we can’t do that often. 

 

But we can name what we are missing.

 

We can notice our bodies and where we feel nervous and then we can turn some compassion toward that place. 

 

We can desire the safe spaces that we have created.

 

And we can admit when we want other people to just feel our pain. We don’t always need people to fix things. Sometimes we just need to know that we’re not alone in our feelings and that we’re not the only ones suffering in this life.

 

So may we do those things. 

 

May we name and notice and desire and admit that we carry anxiety and grief and that it makes us feel sick and that we need safe spaces and to know we’re not alone. 

 

May we normalize mental health struggles and walk beside one another as we navigate our way through. 

 

For we are all on this journey together. 

Even the Kindergartners. 

And together, we can make it through. 

 

Amen.