I Am Not Scientific

 

Well, folks. 

I’ve successfully completed one full week of nighttime classes in my doctoral program 

While teaching during the day. 

The week was a fumbling week of me trying to figure out a new rhythm to life. 

I have not gotten the rhythm yet! 

I stayed up working too late every night

Because I kept finding assignments I didn’t know existed. 

 

You see, online courses are evidently different than in-person courses. 

With in-person courses, you do the work on the syllabus and you show up to class every week.

The due dates are clear and everything is laid out. 

With online classes, it’s not just the syllabus that you need to keep up with, but it’s a whole module of stuff you’re supposed to do during the week.

In fact, the syllabus only includes the bare minimum of what’s needed for success. 

There are teaching videos and discussion boards and supplemental readings to complete. 

I did not know this!

I found out when I accidentally stumbled across a discussion board. 

I immediately wrote a classmate and he filled me on how things were run with an online class. 

I was very grateful. 

 

There is a high pass, a pass, a low pass, and a fail to our grades.

I’ve always been a high pass girl, 

But I’d like to believe that I will be OK with any form of pass as long as I’m doing work that I am proud of.

 

I am not the smartest person in this doctoral cohort. 

There are people much more scholarly and scientific than me and I am already seeing that on the group discussion boards.

I am me.

Not very scientific.

Full of faith and music. 

Not numbers driven.

Believing in the good of humanity.

Operating on the idea that leadership is

Encouraging, equipping, and empowering persons to do the their best, most authentic, life-giving work for the good of common humanity 

But realizing that some people use their leadership skills for the good of themselves or to hurt other people. 

 

Who I am now is not who I will be in three years.

And that’s OK.

Because who I am now will influence who I am tomorrow and tomorrow will influence the next and the next and the next until

I find a new rhythm and become…

 

Who knows who or what I’m becoming?!

 

But whoever or whatever it is 

Will be in community. 

I’ve already experienced that this week with class friend saving me. 

And for that, again, I am grateful. 

 

Amen.