A Simple Prayer

Lord, I pray for everyone
Whose hearts are broken today
Lord, I pray for everyone
Whose bodies are wasting away

There is so much hurt
And so much pain
There is so much grief
And so much anger
There are so many fears
And so many doubts

Lord we need you
We need you
Right now

Jack Abram

Today, my oldest nephew graduated from high school in a quiet family ceremony at his school. I had the privilege of seeing him in his graduation regalia before the ceremony, and I couldn’t have been much prouder.

Jack graduating in a tough time. He’s moving into a tumultuous world. But I believe in his faith and in his ability to make a positive difference in this world. So I thought I’d write him a poem that combines advice, hopes, dreams, and reality.

This is my poem for Jack…but may it be a poem that speaks to you as well.

Just ask when you need help
And don’t forget to
Call when there is something you need to
Know you are loved
Always
Be willing to fight for justice
Right the wrongs of polarized society
And respect the diversity around You
Make a unifying
Difference In this world
Each person has a voice
And your voice matters
To me You are the bright hope
Of Tomorrow
Never forget to live in faith for today

Grocery Store Stickers

I received a surprise piece of mail yesterday.

A couple of weeks ago, I was the caller for my school’s virtual Battle of the Books. The local newspaper wrote an article about the event, so I was in the newspaper.

I hadn’t seen the article. In fact, I’d forgotten that it existed.

Then mail arrived in my mail box.

It was a very nice handwritten note, along with the article from the paper…sealed with stickers from the grocery store! 😊

The whole thing made me smile…

And it made me wonder: When is the last time I went out of my way to send someone, literally or figuratively, a smile?

As I looked at the letter, I could imagine my friend ever so carefully removing her produce stickers so that they could be used on my letter. The intention of her action made me feel cared for and also gave homage to my friend’s sense of humor…

May we be a people who do not waste produce stickers—who reuse them in ways that make people smile.

May we send cards, write letters, compose positive comments, make phone calls, wear fun masks, offer eye smiles under our masks, visit when it’s safe, and act upon our positive thoughts of others in any other ways we can think.

May we be a people of love, especially in these days when love, respect, and belonging are so needed and overdue.

May love be our light and our guide. Always. Amen.

Bat Attack

Last Friday, I heard a sound that I dread: bats. Sure enough, as I crept into the attic, smelling a smell that I have come to know as bat, cautiously surveying my surroundings, I found a group of bats roosted behind the screen in the gable. I yelled and ran out of the attic.

Back up a few years…

One morning, I happily but sleepily went downstairs to say good morning to my mom. My dad wasn’t home. As I got to the bottom of the stairs, something came flying at my head. I screamed, startled mom, and ran out the door, leaving my mom all alone with what I knew to be either a bird or bat. It scared me so badly that I couldn’t do anything but stand on the porch and hold the door open—and shake and sob. I refused to go back into the house for at least thirty minutes, and even then, I was scared.

Long story short, the BAT, after flying at my head, had hidden itself downstairs for a few hours and then appeared to my mom and dad who got rid of it. I was asleep upstairs. I was so traumatized that I had had to put myself back to bed…but not without hesitation of coming upstairs and having something fly at my head. That hesitation lasted for months.

Around that same time, I heard some squeaks from the attic and heard something hitting the door ever so often. I told my dad of the noises, and his solution was to head into the attic with no protection to see what was in there. You know what it was: a bat. He figured that if the bat could get in to the attic, then the bat could get out…but it didn’t. It and its family perished in the attic that summer. I found their dead little bat carcasses sometime later…

This was a few years ago. We forgot to get someone to come to the house to seal any cracks that would let bats in. No one but me really even thought about it until last week. And then…

All of the trauma of a few summers ago returned. I have dreamed about bats three times in less than a week. They have attacked my head and grown to the size of monkeys. I have been hesitant to go downstairs, come upstairs, or round any corners in the house. My conversations have centered around bats and my friends have felt so badly for me that one sent bat repellent and two more came to the house to see what they could do. I’ve even contacted a bat removal company, but they can’t do anything until August because bats are a protected species.

I know that bats are good to have around. I know that they are basically harmless and that they eat lots of bugs and mosquitoes. I know that they don’t intentionally attack humans. I know that they are even sort of cute.

But, folks: The part of my brain that knows all of those things has been disconnected from the part of my brain that says that I either need to “fight, flight, or freeze.” That’s what happens when trauma is triggered: We fight; we run (flight); or we freeze.

Friends: If I have completely shut down and witnessed the activation of the trauma brain over my minute experiences with bats, can you imagine how much more so the trauma of systematic racism has influenced people’s lives? Can you imagine how living every day feeling judged has affected people’s dreams? Can you imagine living every day—not just bat season—looking over your shoulder, wondering if someone or something is going to attack?...

Thankfully, the bats in my attic have moved on for now. Maybe they sensed they weren’t welcome? Hopefully, my traumatized brain will return to its fully integrated self soon and I can stop living in fear.

Oh! that it were that simple for my friends of color. Oh! that years of oppression could just fly away.

Friends: We have work to do.

God. Help us. Amen.

With Time And A Lot of Love

We are broken,
In thousands of pieces shattered.
Time has not yet
Healed gaping wounds of injustice and hurt.
Time, instead, has proven that
Institutionalized racism and sexism are real.
More hatred prevails than should
Ever be harsh reality. Us
Against them divisions are fault lines on which
Numerous people stand.
Destruction and deception are norms.
Apathy and affluence eat at the core.
Love does not always win,
Only the hope for Love and peace remain. In
Thousands of pieces, we are shattered.
Oh, how broken we are!
Forgive us, God, for making a mess of this life.
Let today be a fresh start
Of repentance and forgiveness, of time and
Voices coming together as one, overcoming the brokenness of
Earth, of society, of humanity, of hearts, of us…

Amen.

Memorial Day Sadness

Today is Memorial Day. Today is a day when we remember the men and women who have made the ultimate sacrifice for our country. They gave their lives to defend that values and freedoms that we hold true.

I am grateful.

But I am also profoundly sad. Sad for lives lost, yes. But sadder for the ever-widening divisions in this country today…and how scripture and the Christian faith are being used to justify actions and beliefs that I fear are not of God.

We are becoming increasingly more about “me”—about “my rights” and “my freedoms,” me, me, me.

I can’t think of a place in the Bible where the narrative is about “me.” Yes, individual stories make up the canon that we know as scripture, but if we read deeper into the stories and truly search out the meaning of the narrative, we will find that the stories are about God and God’s redemptive work with God’s people…and we find, over and over again, people sacrificing themselves for the good of many—even when they don’t want to.

We are told, “Do not take advantage of the widow or the fatherless.” (Exodus 22:22)

We are commanded to, “Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute. Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy.” (Proverbs 31: 8-9)

We are challenged, “Learn to do right; seek justice. Defend the oppressed. Take up the cause of the fatherless; plead the case of the widow.” (Isaiah 1:17)

We are further told, “What does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.” (Micah 6:8)

Jesus himself said, “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.” (Luke 9:23)

And in one of the beautiful poignant and beautiful passages of scripture ever written, Jesus said, “Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.” (John 15:13)

And after he lived for us, constantly laying down his life in prayer and sacrifice for us, he went and died for us…and came back to life for us…and sent his Holy Spirit to us to be with us in his absence…so that we can be near him wherever we are, under any circumstances we find ourselves in…surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses…or completely alone.

THIS is the Christian faith that I hold to. THESE are the truths that I hold self-evident. Yes. I live in a country that allows many freedoms. I stand on the backs of many men and women who have made the ultimate sacrifice. I am so grateful.

But my faith is deeper than a country that is telling me that it’s all about me and my rights. It’s about us. ALL of us. And sacrificing as we must for the good of those created in God’s image—and that is all of humankind.

“See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of this world rather than Christ.” Colossians 2:8

God, help us. Amen.

More Than Good Enough

More often than not, I wake up with a song in my head. I often don’t know why the song is in my head. It’s just there…where I guess it’s been lurking in my subconscious.

This morning, I woke up with these lyrics in mind:

When I was younger,
My daddy told me I would never
Never amount to nothing special
He’d come at me from every angle
He’d say you’re the last thing I wanted
The last thing I need

This morning, though, I knew where the song had come from. Last night, I had received a text from a dear friend who is applying for a new job. The text said something like this:

“I just had an epiphany. What’s meant to be will be. If this is my door, then God will show me the key. If not, I’ll stay where I am until another door presents itself. I’m literally making myself sick with worry over an interview. It’s not worth the self-doubt of wondering if I’m good enough. I don’t think my worth should be determined by people who have a different story than I do.”

My friend’s story is littered with abusive words—with being told that she is not good enough—that she will never amount to anything special. It’s a script she’s heard her whole life—that colors everything she does. Yet it’s a script that’s a lie. In truth, she is one of the smartest, most gifted, most resilient, most loving people I know.

I went to bed last night praying for my friend. I woke up this morning thinking about her…and all of the other people in this world who carry the weight of lies on their shoulders.

Oh God…Speak truth into lives damaged by lies and help us to rest in the truth that our worth and identity are found in You…and that when you created humankind, you called us good. Help us to overcome the deception of this world, the brokenness of humanity, and the damning mistruths that suck life from our bones. You have come to give life abundant, and you have whispered truth into our very being. Help us to get rid of the noise of this world and to re-discover your truth and your truth alone. Amen.

And, friend, in case you need to hear it today:

You are
More than
Good enough

Love,
Dee

Dog Eared Books

Does anyone else dog-ear book pages that they want to remember? Sometimes, depending on the book, I have more pages dog-eared than not. And it gets especially tricky when I want to dog-ear both sides of the page!

I have a lot of pages dog-eared in my devotion book, Moravian Daily Texts. Sometimes it’s the scripture passages that I want to remember. Sometimes the hymn lyrics. Sometimes the prayers. Regardless, there are words and phrases that I want to remember…and some that I want to share with you now:

Guiding Light, shine in the dark places WHERE WE HAVE YET TO SEE your grace, mercy, and love. We will follow your light and see life. Amen.

Lord, may we hold tightly to the peace which we share in Christ. MAY WE ALSO LET IT GO to share it with others who need it. May our day be filled with acts of giving and receiving peace. In Christ’s name, we pray. Amen.

God of the universe, THERE IS FAR MORE OF YOU THAT HAS YET TO BE SEEN BY US. Increase our faith so that the unknown does not frighten us but instead causes us to marvel at your grandeur. Amen.

All-present and all-powerful God, keep our eyes open, THAT WE MAY SEE YOU EVERYWHERE; and keep us grateful for all we see. Amen.

Help us, Lord, for we are so often afraid. TAKE AWAY THE FEAR THAT ROBS US OF OUR BEST SELVES AND ROBS YOU OF OUR SERVICE. Make us brave to live for you. Amen.

Lord, we pray today for all who are in peril, who live with violence, and those who work for good among people bent on harm. Protect them and MAKE US THEIR PROTECTORS, TOO. Amen.

The Lord said to Solomon, “Ask for whatever you want me to give you.” Solomon answered, “So GIVE YOUR SERVANT A DISCERNING HEART to govern your people and to distinguish between right and wrong.” 1 Kings 3: 5,9

I search for you, Lord,
In the washing and churning of ocean’s tide.
I look for your presence
In all of the brightness of morning’s sky.
I wander in fields of clover and flowers that smell so sweet.
I feel the brown earth and soft grass under my feet.
Lord, I KNOW YOU’RE NOT FAR AWAY.
God, I reach for you each day.
You are my life, you are my way.

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What are some of your recent dog-ears? I’d love to hear.

Mom's Talent

My mom is the best pianist I know. She can sight read almost anything, accompany both large and small choirs, play solos and duets masterfully, and make any hymn from the hymnbook sound like a beautiful composition.

I often wish that I could play like my mom and lament the fact that I cannot.

Then I am reminded of one simple truth: My mom practices. Every day. I do not.

Every day, or sometimes at night, my mom plays the piano. Sometimes it’s for the sheer enjoyment of playing. Sometimes it’s because she’s trying to work out a tricky passage in a piece. Sometimes it’s because she’s trying to figure out the perfect piece to match the theme of worship. Sometimes it’s because she’s arranging the pieces that she will play as the prelude or postlude to a funeral or wedding.

Regardless of what she’s doing, she plays every day. Dad and I get the benefit of her practice and of the consistent truth that her talent exemplifies: We won’t master everything the first time we try it, but if we keep trying, we will get better, and things will get easier, and something lovely will emerge.

We also are reminded of this: Things don’t just happen. Instead, they take time, intention, planning, preparation, and prayer. Then, and only then, can they be pulled off seamlessly.

Dear God: May we, like my mom, be a people of practice, perseverance, and prayer—especially in regards to the talents that You have entrusted to our care. We love you. And I thank you especially for the music that I hear every day. Amen.

Seen But Not Heard

Last night during our weekly family Zoom meeting—another sign of our times—I kept speaking but my family kept ignoring me. As I sat there being ignored, I began to wonder, “Is anyone hearing me?”

Finally, as I was trying to share my question of the week—my brother’s idea to keep everyone engaged in active conversation—my brother said, “Dee, you’re muted.”

At that moment, a light bulb went off in my mind: My phone wasn’t working!

I have a broken microphone in my phone and therefore cannot speak into speaker phone or any platform that involves talking…unless I have in my headphones.

I quickly put in my headphones and suddenly my speaking was heard. It was like magic. And I was so relieved to finally be heard.

I just finished a five-day course on Trauma and Resilience. One of the biggest things I learned in my coursework is that many people are seen but not heard. And sometimes when we’re heard, we’re not truly listened to…and sometimes we’re not seen at all…

Last night, I also dreamed that one of my best friends and I were hanging out with another friend whom we’d both just met. At one point, the new friend looked at me and said, “Don’t you see? She’s dying for someone to see her and to know that she’s not okay. She needs you to ask about her hurt. She needs you to bring up the trauma she’s experienced.” I said, “I know. But I don’t know how.” And then later in the dream, I fell into water and sank very far toward the bottom, but I kept swimming upward, somehow knowing how to breathe in water, trying so very hard to make it to the top…

Seeing people—hearing people—listening to people—especially people who have experienced deep hardship and trauma can seem overwhelming. Even after my coursework, I wonder where to begin.

But then I remember, begin at the beginning…and in the beginning was the Word…and the Word was with God…and God is Love.

Begin with Love. Begin with acceptance. Begin with safety. Begin with curiosity. Begin with knowing that you don’t know all the answers and that you never will. Begin with knowing that “loving another person just the way they are is no small thing—it’s the whole thing.” (Sara Groves) Begin with relationship. Begin with believing in Light to do its work. Begin with honoring time to do its work. Begin with prayer. Begin with common human experience. Begin with Love…

I really did feel bad last night when I felt like my family was ignoring me—and that was only for five minutes. Imagine a whole lifetime…

May we never be a people who see but don’t hear…or who hear but don’t listen…or who don’t listen or see at all. May we be, instead, a people of safety, Love, and light. Always. Amen.