Bongo Dingo

 

About a month ago, we got a new student.

When the teacher came to bring her class, she told me the student’s name, so I wrote it down, and learned the name.

A couple of weeks after that, Heidi the Librarian came to lunch laughing.

She told the following story.

 

“You know that new student?

I had been calling her what I thought was her name but the other students kept telling me that I was saying her name wrong.

So I pulled her aside and asked her her name.

She said what sounded like Bongo Dingo. 

Thinking that this surely was not her name, 

I asked her again.

Again, it sounded like she said Bongo Dingo. 

So I called her Bongo and, of course, the other students told me that I was saying it wrong.

I sent a distress email to the office with the student’s picture and asked for help clarifying her name.

Ya’ll. Her name is *insert student name*. 

That sounds nothing like Bongo Dingo. 

And now I can’t see her without wanting to call her Bongo Dingo!”

 

As if the story of weren’t funny enough in and of itself,

The student has a unique last name.

We have only one other student with that same last name,

So Heidi thought the students might be related.

When she asked the other kid if she was related to her, 

(She used her real name of course) 

The other kid said no,

That she didn’t know her. 

Turns out,

She’s her aunt . 

 

This whole story makes me laugh.

Heidi was trying to so hard to get the student’s name right, 

But she just couldn’t get it. 

I’m laughing as I write this,

And I chuckle every time I see this student. 

She’s only in kindergarten,

So, assuming she stays at GW, this misunderstanding is going to make me laugh for the next five years.

And I don’t know that that’s a bad thing.

 

I’m reading a book right now that talks about the importance of laughter. 

When they say that laughter is the best medicine,

There is truth to that.

No, laughter cannot heal all sickness and disease,

But it can have a very positive impact on our physical and mental well-being.

In a world that is very serious, 

It’s easy to drown out laughter.

But if we can find things to laugh about, 

If we can lift our spirits for just a moment,

Then we are protesting the darkness that is trying to surround us, 

And those simple acts of protest are a good thing.

 

May you have a good laugh right now. 

And may that laugh lift your spirits and provide you with a much needed stress release today. 

 

Amen. 

PreCrastination

 

When I was in college,  

I would wait to finish a major project or paper until the night before it was due. 

Sometimes I would even wait to begin it until the very last moment.

I have two very specific memories of all nighters. 

One, I was in the computer lab in the math building when someone came in and sat down beside me and made me sick.

She had been smoking and wanted to cover up the smell of smoke so she put on a ton of perfume. 

The smell of her perfume was so strong and off-putting that it made my stomach hurt! 

I had to stop what I was doing and go take a walk for a while until she left. 

Or I may have even gone to another computer lab! I don’t remember that detail. 

Two, I had a project due for one of my music classes that required a copying machine and cutting and pasting little excerpts of music. 

I got permission to work in the campus ministry office that night,

And my best friend helped me. 

We finished that project just in time. 

 

In college, I was a procrastinator. 

Today, I am a pre-crastinator.

Instead of waiting until the last minute to do something,

I do most things as early as possible. 

In fact, except for the reading, 

I’ve done all my assignments for my one semester of doctoral program, 

So now I can just coast on out without feeling a huge weight dangling over my head. 

 

I think that’s part of why I didn’t gel with the program. 

There were so many assignments and so much to do that it was hard not only to keep up but also to get ahead.

I felt a huge amount of pressure,

Like something was trailing me and 

Like an impossible task was dangling in front of me

In the dark. 

All in all, it was a very bad feeling.

 

Once I made the decision to stop, however,

The weight lifted,

The pressure relieved,

The carrot stopped dangling, 

And I was able to see the light.

My pre-crastination went into overdrive and I did everything I needed to do to finish my assignments weeks in advance.  

All in all, it is a very good feeling. 

 

It’s a good feeling to be able to check my work,

To look at it with fresh eyes and make appropriate edits,

To not feel rushed or panicked or trapped, 

Which I’ve realized are feelings that shut me down.

 

It’s interesting how we shift over the course of our lives.

In some ways, we stay exactly the same, but in others we make drastic changes.

My move from procrastinator to pre-

crastinator has been gradual but drastic. 

What about you?

What changes have you seen over the course of your life?

Are you happy with those changes or would you rather go back?

If you’d rather go back, what are some steps that you can take to move forward?

 

Oh God,

Thank you for the ability to grow and change,

And thank you for the ability to reflect on those changes.

Help us to look at our lives with open, nonjudgmental eyes, 

To name where we are, 

And to envision where we would like to go.

Thank you for the procrastinators, the pre-crastinators, and the regular -crastinators. 

Wherever we are, and however, we do it,

Help us to do our work and to do it well.

Amen. 

Pivot

 

Last week, as one does, I was writing about googly eyes. 

Everything was going well until I realized I was being much too serious. 

I had written:

 

“I was recently talking to my niece about phone cases. 

The next time I checked my phone, 

I had an ad for phone cases. 

Our technology is always watching. 

Always listening. 

Always paying attention.

Always searching. 

And so our students. 

Even when we don’t think they are. 

Even when we don’t want them to. 

Even when we wish they wouldn’t. 

Our students are always listening and watching. 

 

We are but one of the many influences on our students’ lives, 

and sometimes our voices and actions get drowned out by others, 

but our voices and actions still matter. 

They provide our students with a model of how things should be. 

They show our students a life that is to come.”

 

While all of that is true,

It is not very encouraging.

In fact, it’s a bit heavy and discouraging,

Feeling the weight of always being watched,

And not feeling free to have an off moment.

 

So I pivoted.

I ended up writing and sharing this,

Which I hope made some people smile:

 

“There are a lot of things to say about eyes. 

The eyes are windows to the soul. 

There are always little eyes watching you. Be careful little eyes what you see. 

You can’t unsee what’s been seen. 

There is calm in the eye of a storm. 

I can see it in your eyes. 

It’s fun to put googly eyes on things…

Okay. 

That last statement isn’t one that’s frequently made. 

But it’s true. 

Googly-eying random things is fun. 

It makes things cute. 

And it makes people laugh. 

And we need laughter these days. 

So go forth and googly eye! 

Spread a little joy. 

And remember:

Your students see the world through your eyes. 

Open them to a world of wonder and beauty, for even in hard times, there is beauty all around.”

 

In a dark and serious world,

We need silliness and laughter.

May you find some laughter today, 

Googly eyes or not. 

 

Amen

The Friend I Didn't Know I Needed

 10.20.25

Whenever anyone new comes to church, 

Tamara, the music minister, keeps an ear out for musical talent. 

A few years ago, someone showed up who had it. 

Not only did she sing, but she played the piano. 

I think maybe this made me jealous? 

Or maybe it made me think of the diva musician stereotype—

Someone who thought they were wonderful and deserved to be treated as such?

I don’t know what it was, 

But I remember having a weird hesitation to Jana joining the choir. 

But I was so very, very wrong to hesitate. 

Jana is totally not an arrogant diva. 

She is humble, down to earth, fun, funny, super talented, and has a great sense of style. 

She’s a cancer nurse by day 

And a wife, mother, friend, activist, traveler, musical enthusiast, beautiful soul by night.

She makes me laugh in choir practice more often than not, 

She plays piano beautifully, 

She sings alto confidently, 

And she simply encourages me to be a better person. 

On Saturday, 

Jana and her husband Shawn coordinated the church yard sale. 

Jana grew up antiquing and yard sale-ing,

So she thought that a church yard sale would be a good thing not only raise some money for the church but also to bring the community in. 

She was right. 

We raised a bit of money, yes. 

But more importantly we visited with a lot of people and 

Welcomed them with both literal and figurative open arms. 

Jana is a friend and cheerleader I didn’t know the church or me needed. 

And I am so very thankful. 

Oh God. 

Thank you for bringing people into our lives when we least expect them

And thank you  for allowing them to change our lives for the better. 

Forgive us when we prematurely judge and help us to overcome those judgments to see good. 

For you are good, and goodness abounds. 

Amen. 

Stopping Isn't Quitting

 

I don’t quit.

I see things through.

I don’t give up on people.

I believe in second and third and fourth chances.

 

So when I found myself feeling like I was in the wrong place in graduate school,

It was very difficult to make the decision to leave. 

But after an agonizing month or more of discernment

I have made the decision to step back from my doctoral program in January

And reevaluate my hopes and dreams and goals.

 

They say the first semester of a doctoral program is the hardest.

Adding an extensive program to an already full schedule is always difficult.

And it has definitely been difficult.

But I’ve done it, 

Albeit clumsily,

And I’ve done it well. 

I’ve just not really connected with course learning

And I’ve realized that I don’t want to spend 2 1/2 more all-consuming years 

Learning about material that I don’t truly care about.

I could. 

I could push through so that I would have the degree.

But I’ve realized, too, that I don’t have an endgame for how the degree will help me personally or professionally. 

So why devote three years of my life and a whole bunch of money to a title?

Pride.

Not wanting to quit.

Not wanting to admit that I was wrong about entering the program. 

Not wanting to regret my decision and live in the land of what if. 

Not wanting people to be disappointed in me and look down on me for not finishing what I started.

Not wanting to write this post.

 

If I’m honest,

I had heavy reservations about starting to program in the first place. 

Once I realized that it was three full years, with no breaks, 

And once I was able to look at the courses and see that they were all leadership and research, 

I began to feel trapped in something that didn’t feel right. 

 

What I thought I was going to do was become an expert on a certain topic,

Do a project that involved writing a curriculum,

Teach the curriculum, 

Conduct some before and after research, 

And see if my curriculum had made a difference. 

 

But that’s not at all what the program is designed to do. 

It’s strictly research. 

Real research. 

In-depth research. 

And leadership theory. 

And contributing to the field of scientific knowledge. 

And that’s not what I am passionate about. 

At all. 

 

I could have done it. 

With some teaching and tutoring, 

I’ve caught on pretty quickly. 

But the truth of the matter is that I don’t want to do it. 

And I don’t need to do it. 

I don’t need to make myself sick from stress

And not see friends and family for three years

For no reason 

Other than pride. 

 

And so. 

I’m stopping. 

I’m not quitting in defeat. 

I’m stopping in surrender,

Knowing that for me, 

At this point in my life,

My doctoral program is not the right fit for me. 

 

And it’s okay. 

 

Oh God. 

Help us to know the difference between quitting and stopping, 

And help us to honor the inner voice that shows us the way. 

For You are in that voice, 

And you are not in pride. 

Amen.