Unity

 I went to a faith symposium on Saturday and walked away with my mind spinning from challenging thoughts. As the information has begun to settle, I keep coming back to one thought:

 

We have forgotten how to disagree.

 

I’m not a fan of cliches, but the words “agree to disagree” keep coming to mind, and while in most instances I know that I can do this, even I, with sixteen years of therapy and countless hours of intentional work to be open to ways and people who differ from me, struggle to make this sentiment a reality.

 

It’s human nature to want to be “right.” But what if “right” can’t be agreed upon?

 

There are always two dichotomies, opposites, or extremes of every belief or situation: right vs. wrong; left vs. right; introvert vs. extravert; hard vs. soft; loud vs. soft; fast vs. slow; black vs. white; life vs. death; heaven vs. hell; good vs. evil; love vs. hate; you get the point.

 

Yet in between those two opposites, there is always more…and that more is where most of life is lived. Most of life doesn’t fall in the extremes, but rather life falls on the sliding scale in between—and that scale moves back and forth at different times in life, with different issues and different experiences—and it’s different for different people.

 

For instance, “love your neighbor” is a somewhat universal truth. But how we go about doing that differs from person to person, community to community, religion to religion. For some, love is the direct action of feeding the hungry, clothing the poor, and providing shelter for the homeless. For others, love is the indirect action of creating policies that promote law and order. For some, love is giving people second chances over and over again. For others, love is creating boundaries that say no. For some, love is embracing all people in this life because Christ said that in Him there is no division. For others, love is trying to save souls from hell because they don’t want anyone to suffer an eternity separated from God.

 

Yesterday in church, something was either said or sung about unity. My lingering thoughts from the symposium on how we no longer know how to disagree crashed into the command for unity and I realized something: Unity isn’t about everyone having the same thoughts and beliefs. Unity is about accepting our differences and doing our part and believing that God, somehow, can take all of the parts and use them for good. Unity is about fighting for Love and being open to love and believing that everyone is God’s beloved child—even if we don’t like them or understand them because they don’t look like us, act like us, or come from the same culture or background as us.

 

These days, it seems like we are quick to judge, dismiss, unfriend, tell on, or cut-off those who don’t agree with us after just one encounter. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t think that we need to stick around people who are demeaning and abusive. Sometimes, when the other person is coming from a place of hate, we should let go and move on for our own personal safety and sanity. Sometimes, when the other person is coming from a place of hate, we should speak our truth in love and then let them be. Responding to hate with hate perpetuates hate. Responding to hate with healthy love changes the world. But I digress.

 

I just think that, in general, especially if we are Christians who profess to follow a Christ who hung out with the marginalized of society, then we need to know how to have conversations with people who are different than us and to be open to what they have to say. I think that, in general, we need to learn to trust the positive intent of people’s hearts rather than automatically deeming them “bad” or “wrong” or “demonic” or “liberal” or “conservative” because of our own fears and insecurities.  

 

Like I said earlier, even after years of therapy and intentional work to be open to ways and people who differ from me, I still struggle. But I am trying. And I invite you to try with me. Because, friends, God is so much bigger than we allow God to be. And I think we may all be surprised by the people whom Jesus loves.  

 

Amen.