Thursday, March 28, 2019

Our of Haiku Land

Does anyone but me use the “Notes” app on his/her phone? I use mine all the time! In fact, as I write these words tonight, I have 459 notes sitting on my phone…and they go back to June 2016 when I first upgraded my phone from a dumb phone to a smart phone. I have a few lists, some sermon notes, a couple of vacation logs, some documents, a couple of rough drafts of speeches, some regular poems, and a lot of haiku. A. LOT. OF. HAIKU.

I wandered into Haiku Land in 2016 when the pastor of my church rather abruptly resigned. I understood the resignation but it was still very hard and the only thing I knew to do was to write through it…only…all that came out was haiku. For the most part, it stayed that way for three years. I’d try to write. It’d come out 5-7-5. I’d put it in a note on my phone. I’d move on.

For almost thirty years, I’ve written my songs and poems into blank books that friends have given me along the way. Before computer/phone-writing became the norm, I jotted down poems on yellow pads of paper, scratch paper, napkins, offering envelopes, or anything that was available when inspiration struck. I then gathered and compiled all of the poems so I’d have a chronological record of my life through poetry. I’m about three years behind on updating my books. Can you guess why? Because all of the poems, the haiku really, are sitting happily dated in the Notes app on my phone.

Yesterday, I started retrieving the poems from the last three years of my life so that I can edit them and write them into my books. While I realize that the handwritten compilation isn’t as important as it once was, I still want to complete the process. I want to have evidence of how my handwriting has changed—and boy has it changed over the years! I want to remember the times and events that brought forth the words. I want to see how I’ve grown and how I’ve stayed the same. I want to remember and be grateful. I want to remember and mourn. I want to slow down and go back to the basics of pen and paper. Everything is so fast these days—so instant. Sometimes, I think, it’s good to go back and do things the old way. Sometimes, I think, it’s good to slow down.

I’m happy to report that I have recently walked out of Haiku Land and that I’ve been able to write a few things that aren’t haiku. I thought I’d share some of those writings here tonight…and a couple of haiku, as well. I thank the note feature on my phone for capturing these words. And I ask you: What is something you need to slow down to do? Maybe you need to write a poem, too.

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Sometimes, my mind spins
Out of control until I
Speak aloud Just stop

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We carry invisible monsters every day.
Mine is in my gut, a deep down shame.
Yours may be in your head, a whirlwind of damning thought.
When we’re fortunate, our monsters sleep.
They lie dormant, in repose,
Content with the spoils of their last feed.
When we’re not so fortunate, our monsters rage.
They rise up with vengeance,
Determined to wreak havoc and stop at nothing less than blood.
But we don’t have to give it to them--
Not anymore.
Our monsters don’t like compassion.
Brave welcome and forgiveness are their kryptonite.
Hand over hand, strengths over weaknesses,
Open acceptance stops fingers from clawing and blades from slicing.
Our monsters have met their match:
Monsters cannot thrive in the light of Love.

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Help me focus, God,
On the things that must be done
Calm everything else

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Lay your head on my shoulder, friend,
And I will silently pray
For the screaming to be quieted,
the racing thoughts to slow their pace,
God’s still small voice to be louder than any other,
structure and order to click into place.
Lay your head on my shoulder, friend,
And I will silently pray
Peace unto you.
Peace fill your mind,
Peace fill your heart,
Peace wash over your people.
Peace...
Peace...
Peace...

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