When we moved to Bunnlevel in 1993, Miss Dog Deaton adopted us. She became extremely protective of my dad and sometimes even stood at the door to the church to try to keep people from going inside :-).
When we moved to Lillington a few years after that, Miss Dog moved with us, faithfully accompanying the man she loved. Miss Dog was a big dog. She looked a bit like a wolf, so as she got older her hips began to fail. Eventually, living for her was more painful than a quiet death, but my dad couldn’t bring himself to taking her to the vet for a final ride. My sister and I held Miss Dog as the vet put her to sleep. My dad stood at the door and wept.
After Miss Dog died, my dad didn’t get another dog because he didn't want to go through the pain of having to put another animal to sleep.
Yet…
Bullet has found him and brought him so much companionship and happiness. Just this afternoon, Bullet sat on the couch and groomed my dad’s hand out of love and comfort for at least thirty minutes. My dad fell asleep with his faithful borrowed companion by his side.
It's clear that my dad needs an animal to love and be loved by--even if that animal doesn't officially belong to him :-). Yet if he would have lived in his fear of the end, then he would have missed the joy of right now.
I have tendency to be like my dad—to fast forward life, circumstances, opportunities, relationships, and events to the end, thus stopping myself from living in the joy of right now.
I want to change that.
God help me not to live in fear of endings but the beauty of journeys. Amen.
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