Not Alone

 

I’ve been thinking about it for a few days,

And I’ve decided that

Part of the reason

There aren’t a lot of Thanksgiving songs

Is because Thanksgiving isn’t a liturgical season.

Thanksgiving isn’t part of the liturgical calendar at all

Because Thanksgiving is very much an American holiday

And the liturgical calendar is very much a world-wide thing.

 

Additionally,

Thanksgiving isn’t a money maker.

Though we’ve gotten very good at commercializing holidays,

Thanksgiving doesn’t really take hold because

There’s not a culturally accepted gimmick

And true Thanks-Giving can’t be monetized.

 

Furthermore,

Thanksgiving is only a one-day holiday.

Why write music about a one-day holiday?

 

And so,

The Thanksgiving music canon is small.

 

And yet,

Shouldn’t it, truly, be the biggest canon of all?

 

No.

Not songs about America’s bumpy and sometimes ugly past,

But songs about Thanks-giving,

Giving thanks,

Songs about gratefulness for

All that we have,

All that we are,

And all that we will be.

Not songs diminishing

Hurt, pain, heartache, and despair,

But songs that recognize that

Through it all,

There is reason to be thankful.

 

On this Thanksgiving Day,

Without many songs dedicated specifically to this day,

May we find songs that resonate with our hearts

And express whatever gratitude we can muster for

All that life brings.

The day will be hard for many—

Grieving loved ones,

Missing loved ones,

Feeling alone,

Being alone—

Yet we can remind those around us,

Through words and presence,

That they are not alone.

 

Which reminds me of a song.

 

Child you’re not alone in this world

And you never have to be.

No I will never forsake you

If you put your trust in me

Trust in the Lord with all your heart

And I will lead you through

When the storms rage

And the battles are fought

I am here with you.

 

Thanks be to God.

 

Amen.

Freshwater in Parched

 

Each year around Thanksgiving, 

I give my students the opportunity to make a word cloud of things that they appreciate about their teachers.

It’s always interesting how some classes are so very descriptive 

While other classes barely have anything to say. 

It’s also interesting that the kindergarten students 

Cannot distinguish between things about their teacher and things about their day. 

Feeling safe and loved by having structure and routine, 

Going to lunch, encore, and recess,

All of the things that teachers must do,

Equate to appreciation for the younger kids. 

 

In addition to the normal

Helps us learn, nice, and pretty that I often hear, 

A couple of highlights of this year’s word cloud making were when 

One student said that he appreciated his teacher simply because she was alive. 

He appreciated her for being a person and all that that means. 

Another student said that he appreciated his teacher for always being there.

And another student said that he appreciated his teacher for giving so much to teaching.

I thought those students were pretty perceptive.

 

On the flipside, I was taken back when I came to a student who said, 

“I don’t have anything to say because she’s always rude to me.”

Another student in that same class echoed the sentiment by saying,

“She doesn’t like me. She hates me actually.”

And a third student said the same thing. 

What made these statements worse is that the other kids in the class agreed.

Not that the teacher hated everyone, but that she didn’t like those three students and treated them poorly. 

 

I found that sad.

While, as a teacher, I know that there are certain students that we struggle with,

I also know that most of us don’t truly hate our students. 

They are kids. 

They are products of their parents and a very broken societal system. 

We don’t hate the kids. 

We hate the circumstances that make them act out. 

We hate that our hands are tied in discipline. 

We hate that we work so hard for so little respect. 

We hate that we give so much and get so little in return. 

Teachers carry a lot. 

And so sometimes, 

I fear, 

Kids misread our body language, tone of voice, and actions. 

At least that’s what I hope. 

 

I’m happy to report that each of those students did find something good to say about their teacher

Upon further reflection.

And I’m also happy to say that that teacher was just as happy reading her word art as everyone else.

It was neat, seeing teachers immediately read what their students said about them.

It was as if they were parched in a dry land, 

Needing freshwater to drink.

 

May we, as individuals, offer that freshwater freely,

And may we, as teachers,

Know our worth and value. 

May knowing our worth and value help us rise above 

All that we hate, 

And may our students know that they are loved for just being alive. 

Amen. 

Quotes

 

I’ve always been a decent student, 

Memorizing information for tests and such, 

But I’ve never been good at memorizing quotes, 

And most of that information that I memorized for tests has flown out the window!

 

The other day, a friend posted a prompt 

To share a quote that has made a profound impact on your life. 

A recent quote from Joe the Counselor immediately popped into my mind 

But I also kept thinking about memorable quotes from friends or family. 

To be someone who thrives off of words of affirmation,

There are very few quotes that I remember.

I tend to remember moments, overall feelings, circumstances, and life-application meanings

Instead of exact sentences. 

 

That being said, 

There are a few quotes that have planted themselves in my head, 

And I want to share those quotes now:

 

Watch for the deers and the drunks. (Affectionately now abbreviated WFDD) —Dad

 

We pay for what we value. —Daniel the Brother 

 

If given the choice to do something special or take a nap, do the something special. Ten years from now, you won’t remember that nap, but you will remember doing something special. —Daniel the Brother 

 

Before we were born, God pulled us to God‘s chest and whispered who we are supposed to be. When we came into the world, the world immediately began trying to make us into who it wants us to be. Our life’s journey is to live into who God whispered us to be. Jesus was the only person to ever to do this. That is his perfection. —Dr. Timothy Brock

 

I don’t want to be involved in culture wars. I want to be involved in culture care. —Sara Groves 

 

I think our morning duty is as much for emotional support as it is for safety. —Holly Windmeyer

 

You are perfect the way you are AND there is always room for improvement. —Joe The Counselor

 

You don’t have to do the whole two weeks at once. —Joe The Counselor 

 

And that’s about it.

 

What about you?

What are some memorized quotes that have profoundly influence your life?

Please share.

I’d love to hear!

Hope

 

I was standing on duty Wednesday morning

When one of my 2^nd graders showed me a treasure.

“Look,” she said, displaying a quarter with a playdoh frame.

“It says, ‘Hope.’”

And sure enough,

The quarter said hope.

 

Evidently,

The US Mint has been producing

A series of American Women Quarters

Since 2022.

In a society that increasingly carries plastic instead of cash and change,

Who knew?!

 

The idea was to feature notable women in US History.

According to Wikipedia,

“The women have made

contributions to the United States

in a wide spectrum of accomplishments and fields,

including but not limited to suffrage,

civil rights,

abolition,

government,

humanities,

science,

space,

and arts.

Most of the featured women have been from ethnic minority groups.

 

The Hope quarter recognizes Reverend Dr. Pauli Murray,

A poet, writer, activist, lawyer, Episcopal priest, and a staunch advocate for civil rights, fighting against racial and sex discrimination.

The word hope was chosen from a line in her poem “Dark Testament” that says

Hope is a song in a weary throat.
(I will put part of the larger poem at the end of this note.)

 

I ordered a Hope quarter to use as a sermon illustration yesterday morning.

I had the opportunity to preach at my dad’s church.

I spoke about hope.

 

I left the quarter at home.

But I still spoke about hope.

God’s hope.

And now I have a quarter by which to remember.

 

---

 

Dark Testament: Verse 8 by Pauli Murray

Hope is a crushed stalk
Between clenched fingers
Hope is a bird’s wing
Broken by a stone.
Hope is a word in a tuneless ditty —
A word whispered with the wind,
A dream of forty acres and a mule,
A cabin of one’s own and a moment to rest,
A name and place for one’s children
And children’s children at last . . .
Hope is a song in a weary throat.
Give me a song of hope
And a world where I can sing it.
Give me a song of faith
And a people to believe in it.
Give me a song of kindliness
And a country where I can live it.
Give me a song of hope and love
And a brown girl’s heart to hear it.

I Lied

 

I lied. 

I said that I didn’t have any cash. 

But I did. 

I had six dollars and my squirrel. 

 

I don’t know why I lied. 

I could have given him money. 

I could have helped. 

But I didn’t. 

 

And once I declared that I wasn’t a cash carrier—

Which is usually true—

I couldn’t go back on my word

Because then he’d have known I was lying. 

 

So I doubled down on my lie. 

I told him I had Euros in my wallet. 

Which was really true. 

But Euros don’t help a man stranded in Winston Salem. 

 

I told him I’d be happy to buy him something

But I didn’t know what was open in downtown at night. 

He didn’t know either, 

And he didn’t want greasy food because of its effects on his diabetic body. 

 

He had nothing with him but a blanket. 

It was his first night on the streets. 

He loved music and God and education and talking and 

I did not feel threatened by him at all. 

 

I looked him in the eye and laughed with him. 

And I kept thinking:

What if this is an angel in disguise?

And you’re lying. 

 

He was an older black man experiencing homelessness 

And I was a middle aged white woman experiencing a moral failure. 

My name is Deanna and I lied. 

His name was Russell and he knew it. 

 

God, forgive me

For knowing a man’s dignity and worth 

But not valuing his life 

Anyhow. 

 

Forgive us 

When we do stupid things

Like double down on a lie to a stranger

Because we want to save face.

 

And help us, God, to swallow our pride 

And to do better 

Whenever we sense Your voice 

Calling. 

 

Amen. 

Trauma Information

A couple of weeks ago,

I wrote about a man who had a strong reaction to the song, “Sugar, Sugar.”

After talking with the man further,

I learned that he was a Vietnam veteran.

The song had elicited a trauma response in him 

That neither he nor I expected. 

He had been momentarily flooded with memories and feelings that were stored in his body

And the only way he knew to react was by yelling for me to stop.

We see trauma responses like this all the time,

Especially in our combat veterans, 

But we often don’t recognize them as such. 

 

Over the weekend,

I had the opportunity to talk extensively with a good friend about trauma.

Like me, my friend has trouble making her trauma learning deliverable to and practical for someone who hasn’t spent hours studying trauma. 

But, like me, she agreed that it’s information that everyone, especially educators, needs to know about the topic. 

 

Here are some things we deemed important:

 

1. Generational trauma is real. It can take up to 7 generations without trauma to heal generational trauma and break its cycle. 

 

2. You can’t fix someone else’s trauma by yourself. You can love. You can give tools. You can help build resilience. You can hold space. You can help. But you can’t fix trauma alone.

 

3. Trauma is stored in the body and must work itself out of the body for healing. Sometimes this is through sports and exercise. Sometimes through self harm. Sometimes through therapeutic practices. Sometimes through yoga or dance. Sometimes through religious experiences. Sometimes never at all. 

 

4. Trauma responses often look like ADHD. Hyper-vigilance and inability to focus are often side effects of abuse, neglect, and other traumas. 

 

5. Infant and toddler trauma will show up later in life. A person may not consciously remember the trauma but the body does. A lot of the anger and “bad” behavior stems from early childhood trauma. 

 

6. Trauma is a response rather than an event. The same event might traumatize one person but not another. It’s uncontrollable and unpredictable. That’s what makes it so tricky. 

 

7. Unprocessed trauma comes out in wonky ways. 

 

There’s more. 

There’s so much more. 

And maybe I will share more in the future. 

But for now, I will simply challenge you to hold space for people today. 

Hold safe, non-judgmental space for people, 

Including yourself, 

To heal. 

 

Amen. 

The Sales Get Me

 

Sometimes I get a bit overzealous at the grocery store. 

Sometimes I get excited about sales and buy things we really don’t need 

Because I am saving money. 

Sometimes the freezer gets too full. 

Sometimes the fridge bursts at the seams. 

Sometimes the pantry gets so disorganized that we don’t even know what’s in it. 

And then, sometimes, when we clean it out, 

I find myself praying for forgiveness for wasting so much food, 

When I know that food insecurity is so very real. 

 

…..

 

A couple of weeks ago, 

I was talking with Joe the Counselor about how busy my next couple of weeks would be. 

I was feeling overwhelmed and afraid that I would get sick, 

Which I did, 

When he said, 

“You don’t have to do the whole two weeks at once. 

It really is one day, one moment, at a time.”

 

…..

 

A few months ago,

One of my friends wrote in a group text and asked us to help settle a debate:

Do most people go to the grocery store every day or once a week? 

Another of my friends answered, 

Once a month. 

I usually go once a week, 

But, like I said, sometimes the sales get me and I will buy stuff not on the needs list but 

Because mom or dad like it, 

Or because we’ll eventually use it. 

And hence,

The stockpile of stuff. 

 

….

 

It’s tough. 

Finding a balance between living for today and being prepared for the future. 

Going to the grocery store every day doesn’t seem feasible to me, 

Then again, buying in excess doesn’t seem like a good use of money. 

Facing two weeks all at once isn’t possible,

But facing each moment as it comes doesn’t seem plausible either. 

What if I’m not prepared?

And yet. 

Jesus calls us to 

Not worry about tomorrow, 

For each day has enough trouble of its own. 

 

…

 

It’s a practice: 

Living in the moment 

While not dwelling on the past 

Or fretting about the future. 

 

It’s a practice: 

Sticking to a grocery list and 

Not getting sucked into sales.

 

It’s a practice:

This life. 

 

And practice means moving from failing to succeeding to failing again 

As we hone and improve our skills. 

 

Practice means accepting the reality that

We will never be perfect 

But always in process. 

 

…..

 

I don’t know what the future holds. 

There is much mixed emotion and a lot of uncertainty. 

Grocery prices may go down.

Grocery prices may soar and I may not be able to buy extra groceries. 

I may not be able to buy groceries at all. 

But I can’t plan for any of that. 

 

All I know is that 

I must practice living for now, 

And now is a moment for

Love and blessing and care, 

Even if it means going to the grocery store

And shopping the sales. 

 

Amen. 

 

 

Tread Lightly

 

Every yes is a no to something. 

Every win is a loss to someone. 

Every victory is a defeat somewhere. 

Every beginning is an end somehow.  

 

Tread lightly friends. 

We are a jumble of emotions today. 

But we are also sharing this human experience together. 

 

It’s easy to gloat. 

It’s easy to despair. 

It’s easy to celebrate. 

It’s easy to mourn. 

 

Tread lightly friends. 

We are jumble of emotions today. 

But we are also sharing this human experience together. 

 

There are smiles of happiness. 

There are tears of sadness. 

There are feelings of relief. 

There are feelings of deep anxiety. 

 

Tread lightly friends. 

We are jumble of emotions today. 

But we are also sharing this human experience together. 

 

For some, prayers seem to have been answered. 

For others, prayers seem to have been ignored. 

For some, God has ordained this day. 

For others, God, if there is a God, weeps. 

 

Tread lightly friends. 

We are jumble of emotions today. 

But we are also sharing this human experience together. 

 

Yes, tread lightly friends. 

We are jumble of emotions today. 

But we are also sharing this human experience together.